Memorable Moments

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

I had a scare this week. My laptop went kaput over a month ago and I didn't have the money or the courage to call up my computer guy to repaire it. I needed the courage to find out first, whether or not I could afford the repair and second, I needed the courage to face the possibility that I may have lost all of my photographs and videos taken in the past two years. My own stupidity caused me to not bother to backup everything on to my external hard drive. I've learned my lesson. Lucky for me, Johan~ said computer guy~ manage to salvage all of my stored documents, but the bad news is that I just nearly paid a car payment on the cost of the repair for my replaced hard drive.

Having my pictures back gave me the chance to browse through some again and reminisce. I was even more thrilled to find yet another blogging game that would satisfy that need.

This is one of my favourite photographs. It was taken last summer and when I see it, I can't help but remember the beautiful location where it was shot. It was our one and only, first family holiday. We rented a cottage in the Shuswaps, British Columbia. We had waited a long time for Owen and Will to be ready for such a thing. Prior to that vacation, they hadn't slept in any bed but their own. All of our fears ended up being unfounded and the holiday was a success. This particular photo of Jake makes me laugh everytime I see it. Two seconds before the shot, I had just told Jacob that I could see Shirley the Shuswap Monster swimming up behind him. You've never seen a kid doggy paddle so fast. :)

Waxing Nostalgic

I have come across some pictures of the boys when they were in their first months. I have to admit that sometimes I see photo albums around the house, or cd's that digitally chronicle my boys' short lives in pictures, but I don't want to look at them. Does that sound terrible? Because I feel guilty about it all the time, especially because I consider myself a scrapbooker..

I can look at photos of Jake and reminisce with the purest of thoughts. I can look at each photo and just remember. I can look at expressions on Jake's face and I am able to match the photo to the moment in time, to the stage of development that he was in at the time. It is easy to look at his photos because they are associated with nothing more than simply.. Jake.

It is difficult to admit but quite often, it is painful to see photos of the twins. Ever since we learned that the boys had autism and heard phrases like early intervention, early detection, symptoms, etc., it is impossible for me now to look at photographs without hearing those words. Now, in every photo, I am searching for those signs and symptoms. I am looking for the before and after photographs that might give us a hint to when - if there was a when - to when our boys changed. Did they regress? Were they developing typically then one day it all suddenly changed? Or were there signs from birth? I'll reserve my comments on what I think on that topic, for another post. But I think that it is safe to say that it's a painful experience to go through, just from looking at a photograph. Undeniably, it has to be one of the most disloyal feelings I've ever had. A mom who can't bear to look at her own children's photographs.

But as always, my boys have taught me to be positive. To look forward, not backwards. To find the joy in the moment and to have faith. Someday I will be able to look at the photographs without having one of those conversations.

So let's start today and ooh and aah over how adorable my boys are. Shall we?

Jake and his two new brothers - Owen & Not-Owen
Will (left) & Owen (right) at 3 1/2 months