tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-244972702024-03-13T03:32:03.862-06:00Willowjak BoysA day in the life of our family of five on a journey through the world of Autism times two. The ups, the downs, the funnies and the stress.Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.comBlogger366125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-9938864688753105952013-01-24T12:27:00.001-07:002013-01-24T12:27:31.465-07:00Paying It Forward Through Random Acts of Kindness<break><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I know it has been forever. A lot has changed, a lot has happened and life went on. </span></break><br />
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<break><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm not here today to talk about autism or what my family is up to. I'll save that for another time. Instead, I thought I could use this place to share updates on a little project I am taking on.</span></break><br />
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<break><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">Last Sunday at church, our minister suggested we try to pay it forward. Coincidentally, I have been inspired by a friend of mine, when I learned about</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;"> her project to do 40 random acts of kindness as she leads up to her 40th birthday. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">I am going to try and do the same for the next 30 days and document it here on my blog. If just one other friend is inspired to do the same, then one of their friends does it too.. just think of what this can do! It's not a new concept. But it is a way to bring a little light into someone's day. Who knows what they are going through and who knows what kind of impact you can have on someone's life. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">Please consider joining me on this little project. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">Today I am headed to the library to pay some overdue fees. Let's see if I can surprise some strangers by paying for theirs as well.</span></span></break><br />
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<break><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">Watch this space to see how we're doing. </span></span></break><br />
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<a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-70861120149212048382012-07-03T15:46:00.000-06:002012-07-03T15:46:47.121-06:00Good luck Jake! You've come a long way!The twins and I just dropped Jake and his dad off at the airport. They are on their way to Chicago, where Jake will compete in the North American championships in Irish Dance. We're so proud!<br />
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Five or six years ago, Jonathan saw a sign outside of our neighbourhood community centre, advertising Irish Dancing, alongside a sign for martial arts. Jake was given the choice (at 5 years old) and chose the dancing. No surprise there. We struck gold. His instructor was fresh off the Riverdance tour and was starting up her own school. Cara was a sweetheart and Jake loved her immediately. What started off as a recreational, fun activity for Jake, soon became a competitive passion that has somewhat defined him. When Cara's boyfriend, Mark joined in the teaching, Jake now had a male dancer to be inspired by and he caught the bug. <br />
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He has come such a long way. <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1YMJmzWlQgc" width="420"></iframe><br />
(Jake with good buddy, Kera, beside him) <br />
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We asked him why his hands were in his pockets and he innocently replied, "well I wasn't wearing any underwear and it's the only way I could keep my pants up!".<br />
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Jake has had his struggles in dance and it was in class that it was most apparent that he was challenged with focus and attention issues. It's amazing that Cara and Mark lasted all these years with him, and that Jake managed to persevere through it to come to this level. But if you know Jake, you know that he's a natural born performer. He hits the stage and as Cara nicknamed him, he's the "Shocker". After suffering through practices of not paying attention or getting his steps right, once he's on the stage, he's "on" and nails it. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnf-t3f4fENVc8I16XSGWdjDgsz1GfMltJcicTjGazdRO4b84JOCTJuU9l1jBPG2ZAuaguVWJxDJdSY6TyXMGwg-5RhGxzZ4LpTGrpy1mGM6SAfRJLksVItreOIGV7xALF-T37cQ/s1600/182307_435617109782143_455617142_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnf-t3f4fENVc8I16XSGWdjDgsz1GfMltJcicTjGazdRO4b84JOCTJuU9l1jBPG2ZAuaguVWJxDJdSY6TyXMGwg-5RhGxzZ4LpTGrpy1mGM6SAfRJLksVItreOIGV7xALF-T37cQ/s400/182307_435617109782143_455617142_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">(Cara, Will, Jake and Mark)</div><div align="center"></div>There's an amazing camaraderie that is formed with these kids, especially from all the travel to various feisanna. It's not an easy thing to be a boy who loves to dance, and it's nice to know that Jake found an extended family with the girls in his class (and not to forget Will who recently joined the competitive ranks!). <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCC4VmtK9EnXyr_GtBDIqp_AogEUrfeMgN6u6RgXQIgoY1RMl0Cd56p03qTFAay1JCiLHxaGD0FmsIuV1b6fIBk5b5wNZmEyyqD1ynxx7P1AvRgfdJVGauY2abHftW_rZKRLI49g/s1600/545442_10150955782110865_1766760400_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCC4VmtK9EnXyr_GtBDIqp_AogEUrfeMgN6u6RgXQIgoY1RMl0Cd56p03qTFAay1JCiLHxaGD0FmsIuV1b6fIBk5b5wNZmEyyqD1ynxx7P1AvRgfdJVGauY2abHftW_rZKRLI49g/s400/545442_10150955782110865_1766760400_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">(Kera and Jake at a feis in Edmonton)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
I wish I had some video of Jake competing, but since filming isn't allowed, here is some footage from St. Patty's Day this year, at our favourite coffee shop in Calgary (Garden's Grace) with Lauren, Clare and Roisin). <br />
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So <span style="color: #674ea7; font-size: large;">Good Luck Jake! <span style="color: black; font-size: small;">Can't wait to hear the results on Thursday. xo</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-11216912034690782722012-07-03T01:19:00.000-06:002012-07-03T01:19:43.735-06:00I blinked and June disappearedOne minute I was thinking I had all this time to get stuff done before the move, then it was time to flip the calendar to July and wham! realized that there are now only days to countdown until we say goodbye. But before I let myself get all sentimental and sappy, I've got some catching up to do.<br />
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First and foremost, it's a special day. <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">Happy 1st Birthday Bee!!!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieyvnpWcCSawmoaLRfMIvF03TLKV4F5vopyVOt4SiA6zxqKGbXmRg9QZa0RJx7-QwCuRFJFiboMrBnkHgZSp1zF_qX0xseh4C8MePIJhchzbtpXLGMW-JQaY9wlbnJSBbpHFcmMQ/s1600/beebday.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieyvnpWcCSawmoaLRfMIvF03TLKV4F5vopyVOt4SiA6zxqKGbXmRg9QZa0RJx7-QwCuRFJFiboMrBnkHgZSp1zF_qX0xseh4C8MePIJhchzbtpXLGMW-JQaY9wlbnJSBbpHFcmMQ/s320/beebday.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
It seems like yesterday that Jake and I travelled to Toronto to be there for Ofeibea's birth. She missed being a Canada Day baby by ten minutes, but instead, she became the princess of our extended family. It has been really difficult not living close and watching her grow up and reach all those first milestones. I've been sorry that I couldn't be the auntie that I wanted to be for her. But I'm grateful to the internet and the power of cell phones, because I feel like I know her well from video and photos. We are so excited to get back to Ontario to hang out and expose her to our testosterone-filled family. I don't think Jake can stand the wait. <br />
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So now to our good news. We have been under a ton of stress. There is nothing like showing your house up to 8 times a week; the cleaning, the sleepless nights, the upheaval of throwing 3 kids in the car to drive around aimlessly while strangers walk through your home. We threw all of our trust into the belief that it would all work out, as we made our plans for a move to Ontario, without yet having sold our home in Calgary. The moving truck arrives on the 16th and our flight was booked, whether the house was sold or not. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaT42rwFrdM2OdLu8m8LJKM8JqyaHGDIs2YTrsuwpOzwF4QHL7f9vEri7icsjLK7MTOpBuHky1_ZxG_mJomW8ie74R9yJy4NzjvIXRUaEHtuDEEiIUX6_rHGVnCEHHn_LZJQGoGQ/s1600/jakesmile.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaT42rwFrdM2OdLu8m8LJKM8JqyaHGDIs2YTrsuwpOzwF4QHL7f9vEri7icsjLK7MTOpBuHky1_ZxG_mJomW8ie74R9yJy4NzjvIXRUaEHtuDEEiIUX6_rHGVnCEHHn_LZJQGoGQ/s320/jakesmile.JPG" width="269" /></a></div><br />
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It sold. That explains the smile on Jake's face.<br />
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Thank God and all of our angels up there. We still have to wait for the conditions to go through, but it's looking good.<br />
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We have already had to start saying our goodbyes and I still don't think it feels real. If I let myself think about it, I realize that there are some faces we may never see again and that makes me really sad. In many ways, I think that Owen and Will may be fortunate to be blissfully ignorant of what is about to happen. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb7ZMS2uLK1Vrc__d_De5tMBOG6BTYyGimIcoNcTyu2Ax4guFGdkeLfJmVdGgS4LJD6ymiHmnZm-jTiWMViUU8a_iR6JsvIEXRsy3_TiQ0ms2oS2doAyx5Vhyphenhyphenb4bYSIRPnOiJbeA/s1600/owenlastday.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb7ZMS2uLK1Vrc__d_De5tMBOG6BTYyGimIcoNcTyu2Ax4guFGdkeLfJmVdGgS4LJD6ymiHmnZm-jTiWMViUU8a_iR6JsvIEXRsy3_TiQ0ms2oS2doAyx5Vhyphenhyphenb4bYSIRPnOiJbeA/s320/owenlastday.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Owen was full of smiles on his way to his last day of school. His teachers, Joanne and Shawna could not have been better this year, had we chosen them ourselves. They were so kind and nurturing, compassionate and helpful to our whole family. We will miss them dearly. Trish and Donna on the bus were god-sends to us. There was so much anxiety for us when planning this school year and their first time on a school bus. Donna treated our boys like they were her own grand-children and we will be forever grateful. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8rMN7KuY59MM4WI6PEbg-ZZaubSbomxvJ05ujD2zT8nlVY4Qgay_AmrhSFbaHwskNT94YB_EaqLiyD-255EEPLa0A2bxnNFkg2kSw4m0z6V3BBoT_ETdw9mhXGQ9o5P8n8o6EvA/s1600/IMG_9659.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8rMN7KuY59MM4WI6PEbg-ZZaubSbomxvJ05ujD2zT8nlVY4Qgay_AmrhSFbaHwskNT94YB_EaqLiyD-255EEPLa0A2bxnNFkg2kSw4m0z6V3BBoT_ETdw9mhXGQ9o5P8n8o6EvA/s320/IMG_9659.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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Jacob's five years in Irish Dance in Calgary came to a sweet conclusion this month. His school put on a wonderful performance for family and friends and it was so great to reminesce and think back to how far he has come. We have made so many wonderful friendships with the families from the school and many of our memories that have shaped our time in Calgary, will be made up of those from the people we grew to think of as our Irish Dance family. I know that Jake will miss them all so much and he hopes he can stay in touch. We also got to get together at one of the family's homes, where they graciously hosted a very special evening to end the year and wish Cara and Mark best wishes for their upcoming marriage. Special thanks to Cara and Mark who have watched Jake grow and who have had to ride the roller coaster with him. We will especially miss Kellie and Margie and all of the families who really reached out to help in some of our trying times over the past few years. We were really lucky with this group, there's no question. <br />
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<div align="center">Jake, Ella and Owen M.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgabX1fTnAAVblQBUSiNz_0sk6lnJ1ARfUeEyPSgZoz0JmSfov5Mr1R_IQ3iocb5DKqeQW4-ZN9KDXn08vivg8RKj-iSIw25BNGQbk9FsecAFwky6tk4Bwwz_ncM_Pmmy6-HJ5b_g/s1600/menziesjake.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgabX1fTnAAVblQBUSiNz_0sk6lnJ1ARfUeEyPSgZoz0JmSfov5Mr1R_IQ3iocb5DKqeQW4-ZN9KDXn08vivg8RKj-iSIw25BNGQbk9FsecAFwky6tk4Bwwz_ncM_Pmmy6-HJ5b_g/s320/menziesjake.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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After a year of feeling like I've been caught up in a vacuum, not really seeing many friends or making connections with people, I got to see a lot of my friend, Lisa. I'm not sure that this was a good thing, because it only made me sadder to realize how much I am going to miss her and our friendship. But our kids have benefitted from these recent visits and I am happy that we will have these little memories to look back on, as our last days spent with good friends. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjokWSRk6LwuRCcjvHxnKKKyy67-xLwJlij09D0B3GGyOTO1QMlAwPeHU_nOPs-R-A98JSWiabIKPF5u2kHvGFACXKbpeEOtJSkLRJoYkIEAvDPfhdq3sjF1lQWa_FBOGWwOBm9lw/s1600/willlastday.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjokWSRk6LwuRCcjvHxnKKKyy67-xLwJlij09D0B3GGyOTO1QMlAwPeHU_nOPs-R-A98JSWiabIKPF5u2kHvGFACXKbpeEOtJSkLRJoYkIEAvDPfhdq3sjF1lQWa_FBOGWwOBm9lw/s320/willlastday.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
This little monkey has been going through some changes of his own. After many years of trying to work on behaviour interventions to get a handle on Will's OCD, we finally came to the conclusion that his safety was our utmost priority, and that our interventions just didn't cut it. It seems to us, that his mind was always racing. Was always distracted by scripting and looping obsessions that drove him to act impulsively and sometimes dangerously, in order to fulfill whatever need he was thinking about. For example, last fall when he was obsessed with reinacting scenes from the Toy Story movie (do you remember this? <a href="http://www.willowjak.blogspot.ca/2011/10/digging-deep-and-asking-for-accepting.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;">Digging Deep</span></a>). In autism, it is not uncommon to see people who have obsessive compulsive thoughts, but classicly, the behaviours that stem from them are acted out upon in order to calm them. In Will's case, it appears that acting out on these obsessive thoughts only seemed to further upset him, yet he couldn't seem to stop them. So after many months of thinking it over and meeting with specialists, we opted to try a medication that might target this for him.<br />
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We are happy to report that we are on week three and we are seeing results. I will give it another week or two before I summarize the changes, because they are too subtle to describe on here, but I have hope that it is helping him and he seems happier and more at peace. On the downside, we are trying to figure out what came first, the chicken or the egg, but Will has been waking every single morning around 3am for the day and he's eating everything but the kitchen sink. So we're still trying to figure out if it's the meds or just the time of year. Time will tell and then I'll tell you. :)<br />
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Lastly, see this sweet picture?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQR28k6Cgqjzy0606T4ak3vC9z4zFAhaXVFSGkpMDStbkZCC4pRQ6KP2ZPXicGvuOoUp7mifbDITHFt4QQ4kWmJipgGmQPZbgEZIHuErdpBwVvTxlKFH4PZlF-rB1sK1MFpcgxMA/s1600/boysipad.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQR28k6Cgqjzy0606T4ak3vC9z4zFAhaXVFSGkpMDStbkZCC4pRQ6KP2ZPXicGvuOoUp7mifbDITHFt4QQ4kWmJipgGmQPZbgEZIHuErdpBwVvTxlKFH4PZlF-rB1sK1MFpcgxMA/s320/boysipad.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><br />
Seems innocent enough. Two boys sharing in their love and interest for this wonderful piece of technology. The iPad. Our saviour. Tablets, iPods, iPads and iPhones. They all seem so innocently life-changing and wonderful. You would also think that they could only be good for kids like Owen and Will. With apps to help them communicate, to learn emotions, to schedule their day, to record data on their behaviours throughout the day. Amazing how far we have come, thanks to Steve Jobs. <br />
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Well, if you ever hear anyone talk about people who have autism and they call them idiots or dummmies. Tell them about my Will.<br />
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Do you see this?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRsvO-ABEAgc6RzUe2qVv9w2iYlaaVknFCqXdGkNE1UMNTMIoJltNlsIE0-al2x8K1yYTvhct4ioUps4Vu_FcpvtdLd9YFJJ1HVWRnX5jj9fpA04bElz6EKOokH222o0O0QzXWlA/s1600/itunes.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRsvO-ABEAgc6RzUe2qVv9w2iYlaaVknFCqXdGkNE1UMNTMIoJltNlsIE0-al2x8K1yYTvhct4ioUps4Vu_FcpvtdLd9YFJJ1HVWRnX5jj9fpA04bElz6EKOokH222o0O0QzXWlA/s320/itunes.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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Tonight I got a phone call from my credit card's security department. They wanted to notify me that there was some unusual activity on my Visa. It seems someone was having a field day on iTunes. After some further investigation, we figured out that that time earlier today when Will was resting his chin on Jake's shoulder while he played on his iPod, Will wasn't just being affectionate with his big brother Jake. He was spying. And memorizing. And plotting. <br />
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Will used the password he scooped from his brother and racked up over $250 worth of purchases on iTunes. Backyardigans, Pearl Jam, the Lion King and Dora. Yup.. didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out who the culprit was. <br />
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Someday maybe we'll look back on this and laugh. <br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-33943652535033599322012-07-01T22:36:00.001-06:002012-07-01T22:37:53.650-06:00Check out our boy!<span id="goog_2048930827"></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><span id="goog_2048930828"></span>It's been a busy couple of weeks and I've got lots to update you on, but need my sleep more. Update to come..<br />
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But in the meantime, please take a minute to head over and check out our Jake's new blog. He'd love for you to drop him a note and follow him.<br />
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<a href="http://willowjaksibling.blogspot.ca/?spref=fb" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;">Willowjak Sibling</span></a><br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-408030119946718852012-06-18T12:59:00.000-06:002012-06-18T12:59:59.214-06:00My Rainy Day PlaylistIt's another rainy day in Calgary. Got the homeschooling year all finished and signed off. The house is relatively spotless after an Open House yesterday. I still have a to-do list a mile long, but have decided to spend my morning perking myself up with music that gets my heart pumping. <br />
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I get made fun of regularly by people all the time for my taste in music. I admit, it's ecclectic and doesn't always make a lot of sense. You might see me as a boring old housewife, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to Engelbert Humperdink. I grew up with many musical influences; my dad's love for bluegrass, my small-town Bowmanville roots, my grandfather's fiddle tunes, church hymns that make me cry, cottage cock-rock, Scarborough introduced me to a HUGE world of music from all over the world, campfire tunes and Bobby McGee, a love for the Beatles, beautiful scores from my favourite broadway shows or movies. I swear in another life I was a black woman who wished she could sing at the Apollo Theatre.<br />
<br />
I just love music. In all of its forms and in all of its genres. If it's sung or performed with soul, you've got me. I'm counting down the days until I'm back in Ontario with tickets in hand to see a good show at Massey Hall or to hear a song-writer with nothing but their acoustic guitar in a dinghy bar. <br />
<br />
I'm not sure what kind of mood I'm in today, but the music might tell you better than I can. <br />
<br />
Michael Bernard Fitzgerald is a Calgarian that keeps creeping into my faves' list. I'll be sorry to leave Alberta if he doesn't blow up so I can just as easily hear about it from Ontario.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dZLehRxiL4U" width="560"></iframe><br />
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I think I am as obsessed with Brandi Carlile as I am with Adele. I just can't get enough of her voice. Adore her and wish I could see her live. <br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cNmo8I4dEQE" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
..and this is a must. Have heard the song many times by other artists, but no one does it better, in my opinion. <br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gLmUgBi86e0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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A classic. Wish we had street performers like this in our neighbourhood.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Us-TVg40ExM" width="420"></iframe><br />
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Can't help it. I just love this.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pLLMzr3PFgk" width="560"></iframe><br />
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One of my all time favourites by Bonnie Raitt and John Prine:<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1T5NuI6Ai-o" width="420"></iframe><br />
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My favourite Barenaked Ladies' tune:<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/w3AmY5HXzgA" width="420"></iframe><br />
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I love this Robyn song, but I think I like this one even better covered by this Swedish vocal group called Erato:<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fQoCEvVL57E" width="420"></iframe><br />
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Way too sexy for a family blog, I know. (sorry)<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/iXvy8ZeCs5M" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Who doesn't love Otis Redding???!<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/K-FQL-tJ3ic" width="420"></iframe><br />
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I couldn't decide between this or 9 Crimes, but Blower's Daughter won out.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5YXVMCHG-Nk" width="420"></iframe><br />
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The Hip. :)<br />
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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4TPXRvwcTsg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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Beautiful.<br />
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SLDjXlGxa-A" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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And I'll finish with some country by the lovely Miranda Lambert.<br />
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DQYNM6SjD_o" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
What's on your playlist today?<br />
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<br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-21080088287083529922012-06-14T20:41:00.001-06:002012-06-14T22:41:03.542-06:00An AnniversaryToday marks a seventh year anniversary. <br />
<br />
Part one took place a week ago, on the 7th. Part two is today. <br />
<br />
If someone were to give me a cake with candles on it, I would have an arm's length of wishes to make and they would all be for my boys. Top on my wishlist is that next year, it will be the beginning of anniversaries that I forget to notice.<br />
<br />
When June 7th and 14th become anniversaries with no meaning, I'd like to declare June 15th an anniversary we will celebrate. To celebrate the day we began to move forward.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, here's a reminder for how we got to this place. <a href="http://willowjak.blogspot.ca/2006/05/day-life-changed-new-chapter-gratitude.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;">The Day Life Changed</span></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-71321542007773243252012-06-11T23:51:00.001-06:002012-06-11T23:58:50.805-06:00HugsI just put Owen to bed and when I walked towards his bed, his arms were outstretched waiting for my hug. It was the second night in a row and the hugs are getting sweeter. Last night I was nearly giddy because the hug included a squeeze with pats on the back. Tonight as I walked away, his hand snapped out of his blanket to grab my arm and he pulled me back. I leaned down to ask what he wanted and I felt his kiss on my cheek. Then on the other. It's our little dance. After the cheek, the nose, the forehead, the chin, then a last peck, followed by a huge hug. <br />
<br />
My Owen can't tell me he loves me. But these moments tell me more than words ever can. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMdmwdiDXHXtfhur0296IjkJTih6QgPDSM-1pLMs7Nd9JCf8qTvboC2ZiFUgTePoAVoIqrYFZtSpv7uWdgoBZ8b36t_Yy-sENNZSGF4-DV_0M7wZJr376fs_pZbsjWwyNUYyFQ3Q/s1600/Give-your-mom-a-hug-pony-wants-piggyback-ride-from-mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMdmwdiDXHXtfhur0296IjkJTih6QgPDSM-1pLMs7Nd9JCf8qTvboC2ZiFUgTePoAVoIqrYFZtSpv7uWdgoBZ8b36t_Yy-sENNZSGF4-DV_0M7wZJr376fs_pZbsjWwyNUYyFQ3Q/s400/Give-your-mom-a-hug-pony-wants-piggyback-ride-from-mom.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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I don't take it for granted. When Owen was an infant, I could hold him. As autism more obviously affected him as he passed his first birthday -though we didn't yet have the word 'autism' to name what was happening to him, Owen was not a toddler who would leap into his mama's arms. He would rather be alone and would rather be lost in his own space with Lego blocks, than cuddled up to Mom or Dad. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCnqbbN2kw5drE212JHrNgBW6KaZZUHTgkU1rmyDqRiWTqOOzyuHdFs55v3uP9bbjJaw0ahXZ4uItmOkj7rQp6dtX7HFVRgZcrs3QPenlNawR6tRUm8lu2Dm3YIivY401MaC6CIA/s1600/551666_450924678257102_485205390_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCnqbbN2kw5drE212JHrNgBW6KaZZUHTgkU1rmyDqRiWTqOOzyuHdFs55v3uP9bbjJaw0ahXZ4uItmOkj7rQp6dtX7HFVRgZcrs3QPenlNawR6tRUm8lu2Dm3YIivY401MaC6CIA/s320/551666_450924678257102_485205390_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
It was rejection, pure and simple. And there isn't a worse feeling than to be rejected by your child, especially a toddler. Parents and their children can grow apart with time, as disappointment, betrayal and pain can cause walls to go up between them. While painful, it's understandable that children can create walls to protect themselves, and in so doing, they push back against their parents. But with Owen, there was no reason. He was too young to have lived any experiences to feel nothing but safe with us. It hurt. Pretty bad. <br />
<br />
I credit the croup with forcing Owen to let me hold him again. Right around his second birthday, Owen came down with this scary, barking cough and we spent a night in the emergency department. He had to endure a round of steroids administered through a facial mask. There was no chance he was going to allow this without a fight, so I spent several hours pinning him down to my chest, while he fought me like a wildcat, mask upon his face. After an hour or so, I felt his body go slack and he gave up fighting. It was a huge moment for us. As his body relaxed, he seemed to not just give in, but to acknowledge and accept that I was holding him out of love. He rolled from his back to his front and with his chest to mine, I felt his arms go around my neck and his head rest on my shoulder. He never fought my hugs again. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4bvHNs8sngOlYE-dCptLCBQ8moy5FFHHkb5cU4Lt-epsaD4N21V8iQRQ22TZJBh_WKAG10XiiaO0r3OiGEFx2TkAC_DglxRYgPMlGF4QseQOkQXMTMxDB5HdN089MGAsqr9IaA/s1600/Animal_Mothers_and_Babies_Photos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4bvHNs8sngOlYE-dCptLCBQ8moy5FFHHkb5cU4Lt-epsaD4N21V8iQRQ22TZJBh_WKAG10XiiaO0r3OiGEFx2TkAC_DglxRYgPMlGF4QseQOkQXMTMxDB5HdN089MGAsqr9IaA/s320/Animal_Mothers_and_Babies_Photos.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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The twins are nine years old now. Owen is a cuddler, but it's on his own terms and in his own time. Will loves his hugs and kisses and likes to count them out loud.. sometimes you need to count them with him in a Sesame Street character voice. Jake has developed a recent affinity for kissing me atop my head and it feels like foreshadowing of what is to come as he grows taller than his mom and leans down for a peck. I am a lucky mom and I know it. My heart bleeds for all of the parents out there to children with autism and/or sensory integration disorder, who aren't as fortunate as I am. My hope is that they are told "I love you" in other ways and they are open enough to hear it. Sending out hugs to all of you..<br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-19150092374059020142012-06-09T14:27:00.000-06:002012-06-09T14:27:56.602-06:00Paranoia or Preparedness in Calgary?I think I walk a fine line between being crazy and being responsible. Here is a simple scenario as an example:<br />
- we'll have plans to spend the day in Banff. I'll pack a bag of extra clothes and jackets. Another bag of food and snacks. I make sure we've got the car charger for the kids' ipods. I make sure we've got a towel or two in case someone gets soaked. In all my 'craziness', I even make sure that the kids have gone to the toilet before getting them in the car. <br />
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Now my husband will roll his eyes and be irritated that I'm taking too long to get ready while I run around getting all of this stuff together. But this is the same guy who will be using all of the items I've packed. This is also the same husband who has <strong>more than once</strong> buckled the kids into their seat belts and driven away, not realizing that his children didn't have shoes on their feet. It's an ongoing argument between us. That I see myself as being proactive and prepared whereas Jonathan is reactive and unorganized. He plans for nothing, things go awry, then he blames everyone else for his lack of foresight. <br />
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What brings me to this conversation is the fact that we've had a ton of rain in the past week here in Calgary and we're looking at a forecast for more. Banff National Park has had record snow accumulation this past winter and that means that the snow is soon going to melt. The Banff townsite, Canmore and the Bow Valley are already dealing with flooding and Calgary sits just downstream along the Bow River. <a href="http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/alberta/Flood+risk+dropping+Alberta+officials+keeping+eyes+skies/6752764/story.html">Environment Canada issue rainfall warning as flooding fears continue</a>. How does this affect me? Well I care about stuff like this. I follow the news and get weather and emergency alerts sent to my phone. In 2005, the year before we moved to Calgary, the city experienced some pretty terrible flooding (see <a href="http://www.calgaryarea.com/calgary_flood.htm" target="_blank">2005 Calgary Flood</a>). Any Calgarian will simply shrug their shoulders and say "that's Calgary for ya! What else would you expect for June weather?". <br />
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So knowing all of this, am I crazy or responsible if I feel that I need to prepare for a possible flood? I'm not saying that I'm going to be sandbagging a barricade around my home and I haven't run out and bought a boat to park outside my front door. I'm just saying that I'm being aware, I'm watching the news and I'm making mental notes. If water starts to pool at the bottom of the slope in my backyard, what do I do about it so that it doesn't start leaking into my basement? We only live about 800m away from the Bow River. We're on the flood plain. Is it so crazy to be cautious?<br />
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When I look out my window and see something unusual, like someone sitting in a parked car that seems out of place on my street, I take a mental note of the car description in case I need to recall it later. If I'm walking in a dark and empty parking garage to my car, I hold my keys between my fingers ready to jab them and my cell phone in the other hand with the 9-1-.... already dialed. Is that paranoia?<br />
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Jake has always had a lot of irrational fears that we've always blown off to an over-active imagination. They haven't gotten better as he's gotten older, they're actually getting worse. He's also a mind-racer. He doesn't sleep well because he can't settle the thoughts going through his brain. What's interesting is that I am realizing how alike he and I are. I wonder if many of the fears are rooted in the pages of the many books we both read. I think the thing that separates us is that I am older (ahemm.. I mean, wiser) and have the experience to know that the likelihood that any of my fears will come to life is next to nothing, but I also have the capability to do something about it so that I am prepared if those fears come true. I think my job is to pass on my 'preparedness' to Jake to equip him with some tools so that he can focus on what he <strong>can</strong> do instead of focusing on what he has no control over. <br />
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Now I'm going to sign off so I can go check the weather report and make sure I know someone with a sub-pump. If you're in Calgary and want to follow and worry with me, I found a good site: <a href="https://calgaryherald.crowdmap.com/" target="_blank">Flood Watch</a><br />
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<break><break><a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-46744073792297658892012-06-06T22:12:00.000-06:002012-06-06T22:12:03.706-06:00Sweet ReliefThere is nothing scarier I think, than worrying that your child might be ill. There is nothing sweeter, than learning that they are not.<br />
A few weeks ago, Will had to go have some routine medical tests as a precaution before going on a medication. What was meant to be routine, turned into MY full-blown panic. Results from an ECG came back suggesting something that warranted concern and further investigation. Add to that a receptionist that divulged too much detailed information on the phone to me (that of course I immediately googled and shouldn't have), so I was probably more worried than I needed to be. An appointment was made at Children's Hospital with the cardiologist and then we had to wait.<br />
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I can't remember the last time we've had to wait out news like this. It brought back those scary memories of when Owen was diagnosed with autism, then we had a whole week to wait before Will's assessment with the same scary suspicions in our minds. I remember back then, how sick to death I felt at the news for Owen. And how the nausea turned to blind fear that we would get the same diagnosis for Will. But to keep yourself protected, you let yourself believe what everyone tells you, "it will all be okay - I have a good feeling about this - just wait, you'll see it turns out to be nothing". But the bad news was delivered again for Will. We got "lucky" and lightning struck twice. So forgive me when I think the worst, because the worst happened to us twice already. <br />
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This morning we had to repeat the test and the results were the same. Followed by a meeting with the cardiologist who explained the results and asked some screening questions. He was still concerned and decided to proceed with another, more comprehensive test. Results came back and Will is okay!!! (this is the simple version).<br />
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Here's his happy dance: <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OBj4_6DluXY" width="420"></iframe><br />
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I feel like we've dodged a bullet. I can breathe again. Now it's time to follow through with all of those promises I made God in my prayers for the past few weeks. <br />
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There are times, like now, when I feel like I'm getting the message. That our time here is borrowed. We're lucky if we get a full-ride. My children are my blessings in life and they were gifted to me. I can't ever take that for granted. <br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-85996249471288029622012-06-04T23:43:00.000-06:002012-06-04T23:43:35.674-06:00Losing LaurenTreat my kids well and you're in. If their faces light up when they see you, you've earned your spot at our dinner table. If we say your name and their ears perk up, you're part of the family.<br />
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For every 5 fantastic aides or therapists we've had for Owen and Will, there has easily been one who was dreadful. It's not difficult to pick out the the ones who aren't in this line of work for the right reasons. Or the ones who talk the talk and put on the show of being the bubbly, fun-loving play-mates to the kids when the parents and bosses are around, but when you sneak home early on them, you find them baked out on your couch, watching tv. Maybe they think that because the kids can't speak they won't tell us when they've been ignored? -but they seem to forget that there's Big Brother Jake to give us the real scoop. But the truth of the matter is, Owen and Will are very competent at communicating their feelings about people. They are great judges of character. <br />
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The boys are nine years old now. They aren't babies. They love their cuddles, but I believe that they are very aware that they are big boys and not babies. They have strong ideas and opinions about life and I am always impressed by how clearly they seem to read people. If you talk to them like babies, be prepared to be ignored. If you ignore them, they'll act like you don't exist. <br />
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There are a lot of well-intentioned, good-hearted people out there and I understand that it's not easy to read my boys.<strong> I</strong> don't even know what they're thinking most of the time. But being awkward around them is not the same thing as looking right through them. Or treating them like they are nothing more than mindless idiots. You can't just pat them on the head like a dog with a smile on your face and feel good about yourself afterwards.<br />
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Which is why when a Lauren steps into the picture, you know you've found gold. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiud3K5dXIb8_USAhazPK38JtJcZoYXpsIl_OOmWQ8JugGa8J2sr7hFNiB8ZYPVAiEbmyMnyM_2ydv2-8XrvlCuqtO7D8G4QNASMuXzdPLC3hic7AIO0_x7g_PXqZTNuKa_9NzmfA/s1600/lauren1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiud3K5dXIb8_USAhazPK38JtJcZoYXpsIl_OOmWQ8JugGa8J2sr7hFNiB8ZYPVAiEbmyMnyM_2ydv2-8XrvlCuqtO7D8G4QNASMuXzdPLC3hic7AIO0_x7g_PXqZTNuKa_9NzmfA/s400/lauren1.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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Owen is a tough nut. He has some intense fears that prevent him from bravely throwing himself into new situations. It can take him a long while to trust someone. He may appear to be ignoring a person, or he might seem to be more interested in banging his blocks together than to acknowledge your presence. But you can trust that he's studying you from the corner of his eye. He's assessing whether or not you really SEE him.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoTcCJr7voQ1JPWVmY4GagvfWmGGVO0rTNiNCEUVv3bp_y_JwKRGl0Q1KnNUuKG4i_ctSKFelsoLUk-XTcEQJUeUZfgZK-E1RKxVuuXDRQBorXNM03H84ZEalq7duMJjtKvmL7WA/s1600/lauren2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoTcCJr7voQ1JPWVmY4GagvfWmGGVO0rTNiNCEUVv3bp_y_JwKRGl0Q1KnNUuKG4i_ctSKFelsoLUk-XTcEQJUeUZfgZK-E1RKxVuuXDRQBorXNM03H84ZEalq7duMJjtKvmL7WA/s400/lauren2.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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Lauren has always seen Owen the boy. Not Owen the autistic boy. And he knows this. I can't tell you what exactly has made their connection so strong, but it's undeniable. Owen beams when we tell him "Lauren's coming to see you today". I truly don't think that happens with a single other person. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij_WiEfu0cxA4bWES5cnzjoDQy2RYkfQp5jfBZmrR_MlNHn6bRSubaIx8nsfpSbZwAA09NH9I7lDZPIUymxJWlzIyIQvGK-CojdrYPOtqecPakbJm95LMD3xOvO-5nre0YVwTO-Q/s1600/lauren3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij_WiEfu0cxA4bWES5cnzjoDQy2RYkfQp5jfBZmrR_MlNHn6bRSubaIx8nsfpSbZwAA09NH9I7lDZPIUymxJWlzIyIQvGK-CojdrYPOtqecPakbJm95LMD3xOvO-5nre0YVwTO-Q/s400/lauren3.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
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When we were contemplating a move from Calgary, Lauren was the one I didn't want to face. When I weighed the pros and cons of whether or not to leave, separating Owen from Lauren was at the top of the list of what to consider. We will never have another Lauren. I pray that someone steps up to the plate and volunteers to try. All three of my boys could use a friend outside of our family, who they can count on. Someone who has their back and offers them some respite from the intensity of our life sometimes. But before that happens, I have to live with knowing that I may be hurting Owen with this move, more than I am helping him. I spend a lot of time stressing over what will go through Owen's mind when he realizes that we are in a new and unfamiliar world in Ontario. Will he understand that we won't be going back anytime soon? Will he wonder what happened to Lauren and why she isn't there on Mondays to pick him up for a swim? Or will he understand it all and blame me for taking him away from her?<br />
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Time will tell but I am sure that time will never erase the impression that Lauren has made on Owen's life and that of our whole family. We have truly been blessed over the past six years to have made so many beautiful relationships with people who came into our lives because of their work with our boys. We won't forget you and we hope we see you again soon. Lauren will always have a place in our family. No matter where we live. <br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-38603492129515699472012-06-03T11:33:00.000-06:002012-06-03T11:33:13.080-06:00Baby Blue-EyesOwen, what goes on behind those eyes of yours?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnL8n7U7mqF8_yrA32yLcdWxAtSmmFRtP9sqtL6c8xG_3LbGc5HzIA2MZqtA_S4SErE07UDoW0R58phGID7UvGVZSTxIkn4-DMqYFYf8OpJQV8T45Hnz4O5Elw-96eT6ExehV_vA/s1600/IMG01641-20120603-0736.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnL8n7U7mqF8_yrA32yLcdWxAtSmmFRtP9sqtL6c8xG_3LbGc5HzIA2MZqtA_S4SErE07UDoW0R58phGID7UvGVZSTxIkn4-DMqYFYf8OpJQV8T45Hnz4O5Elw-96eT6ExehV_vA/s400/IMG01641-20120603-0736.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-26887675982035595422012-06-01T16:57:00.000-06:002012-06-01T16:57:31.764-06:00I can't wait for...When we moved out here, it was not uncommon to hear me say to Jake, "instead of focusing on what you miss, focus on what we have". <br />
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As many of you have also experienced, moving so many thousands of miles from home is not only cause for homesickness for friends and family, but for the landscape, familiar foods, weather, buildings, pace of life, wildlife, etc. It's amazing the things you take for granted until you move away from them. <br />
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I was fortunate that I could get back to Ontario at least once a year, so I never had to say goodbye forever. But there are some things that are harder to let go of. There is an undeniable tug of longing for certain aspects of our home that were impossible to ignore. Though we tried to focus on all that we loved in Alberta (and I assure you- there was so much that I'll post <em>that</em> list in a future post), the memory of our favourites was never far from our minds. <br />
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Now the closer we get to our return, the more our excitement is bubbling. Now a common phrase heard in our home is "I can't wait for...". And here are some of the things that top our list:<br />
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- family<br />
- the Knox Pumpkin Farm<br />
- all of our friends<br />
- lakes!!!!<br />
- fresh picked strawberries<br />
- cottages and trailers<br />
- the Beaches and the Boardwalk in Toronto<br />
- the "homey" feeling of our church and the sound of its choir<br />
- the Cobourg Beach on Lake Ontario<br />
- cheese factories<br />
- family<br />
- Archibald's hard cider<br />
- Lone Star & the Mongolian Grill<br />
- some moisture in the air<br />
- easy access to ties to our past and familiar places<br />
- an air-conditioned home<br />
- friends<br />
- long country roads and rolling hills<br />
- a huge arts community in Toronto<br />
- visits to my Nan & Pop's graves<br />
- family<br />
- tons to do for kids in the city<br />
- the Bowmanville Zoo<br />
- all the Bowmanville downtown festivals (Maple & Apple)<br />
- the Sugar Bush<br />
- friends<br />
- easier access to the National Archives in Ottawa and the places I want to visit for my geneology research<br />
- skunks and raccoons (so says Jake)<br />
- cardinals and red-winged blackbirds<br />
- family<br />
- maple trees. red foliage. - the country's most beautiful autumn foliage<br />
- more LIBERAL-MINDED PEOPLE!<br />
- Toronto Maple Leafs (yup, I really said it)<br />
- snowplows!<br />
- Pizza Nova<br />
- did we mention friends and family?<br />
- fireworks<br />
- the Bowmanville Santa Claus Parade<br />
- Kawartha Dairy Ice Cream<br />
- elephants<br />
- more ties to French and easy access to Quebec and the French culture<br />
- apple orchards<br />
- chip trucks<br />
- longer business hours<br />
- friends and family<br />
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None of this is a knock to Alberta and neither is it a declaration that Alberta does not have any of these things. But these are some of the things we have really missed or have not had access to. And I promise that my list of the things I am NOT looking forward to is just as long, such as the traffic, the smog, the humidity, the aggressive drivers, the HST!, the huge population, Mayor Rob Ford, etc. etc.<br />
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I can't wait.<br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-10190895422865748842012-05-31T10:38:00.001-06:002012-05-31T10:43:55.262-06:00Autism Questions and AnswersSo the other night I had the twins with me in the car, when I went to pick up sausage orders that needed to be delivered for a fundraiser that Jake's dance school had put together. I left the boys in the backseat, while I loaded up the trunk and chatted for a minute with some of the other moms who were doing the same. A little girl (about 4 years old) who was also waiting for her chatty mom, nodded over to Owen and Will and asked me "what are they doing in there?". I told her that the boys were watching videos on their iPads/tablets. She (very jealously) asked if the boys had their very own iPads, to which I said 'yes'. But before she could turn to her mom and before her mom could give me the stink-eye for having given her daughter a reason to beg for one, I decided to explain to this little girl, that the boys had autism and they used their iPads for more than just watching movies. <br />
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Once you go there, you have to commit. And brace yourself. When a child learns that there is something different about my children, you can pretty much guarantee that the questions will be peppered like a machine gun. <br />
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- what do they use the iPads for?<br />
- what do you mean they can't talk?<br />
- well how do they tell each other things? <br />
- that means they can't tell each other their secrets! (horrified)<br />
- why does Owen look scared?<br />
- why would he be nervous because I'm looking at him?<br />
- why does he gets scared of people he doesn't know?<br />
- so he can't talk AND he doesn't understand all words?<br />
- well how do they play if they can't talk?<br />
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...and so it goes.<br />
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I welcome the questions now. Six or seven years ago, I may have hid from them. It is still painful sometimes to talk about the boys' challenges, because I feel disloyal to them somehow. Like I'm betraying them by pointing out their differences, particularly to another child. If the conversation lasts long enough for me to get a word in, I will follow up my Q&A Period with a bragging session. I especially like to note the look of shock when I tell people that Will can read and write, or that Owen, however quiet he may appear - can communicate using proloquo2go and some sign. He's really smart! <br />
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However uncomfortable it makes me feel and lord knows, I don't even know what the twins are thinking when they're hearing us have these conversations about them, answering their questions means I am raising awareness and dispelling ignorant assumptions. Hopefully I might be normalizing autism so that that child won't think twice about seeing another child with autism in her class and might even seek him out as a friend. <br />
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My openness isn't restricted to kids. Grown-ups -- ask me questions. I'd rather you ask, than assume and not be right. Just be considerate of the fact that these are my kids. And how might you feel if I asked you similar personal questions about your own children? I can usually tell when I meet adults, that they want to ask questions, but are afraid to. So I usually try and initiate the conversation first to break the awkward ice. I can also usually tell which adults are asking out of compassion or seeking understanding, and which are asking for entertainment (for lack of a better word). Sometimes it feels like these people are asking for the answers so that they can complete an exam, as if my kids are science experiment lab rats. We're talking about my <i>children</i> here. Please have some sensitivity or at least some common sense. <br />
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I may have posted this on the blog before, but it's worth it. These are a couple of video clips I found that you can show to your kids. They aren't perfect and neither do they represent all kids on the Spectrum. <br />
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<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/iq-VhfVwqp4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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And as explained by my hero, Temple Grandin:<br />
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/BetKBQdnFA4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/W6Zs8DS2wBE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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Ask away!<br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-39174348021113961992012-05-29T00:41:00.001-06:002012-05-29T00:41:34.474-06:00Faith, Risk and Moving ForwardOne step closer.<br />
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When we moved out west, we thought it was forever. We committed to ourselves that we would never second-guess our decision and that we would plant roots and we would not toss around the thought that "we could always just move back to Ontario". We knew that we if we kept Ontario as our back-up plan, we would never make the most of our life out here. Six years later and we still have that same attitude. We haven't gone back on our word, but we always remained open-minded to the possibilities of change.<br />
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I just wrote three paragraphs of explanations for how we came to our decision to pack up and move back.<br />
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But I deleted it.<br />
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I don't really want to have to explain myself anymore. Especially because our decision is made. I am not going to second-guess myself. I will not have regrets and I will not allow for other people's fears, insecurities or genuine concern, to cause me to slow down the process of moving forward. <br />
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As I get older, I realize more and more that I don't need other people's approval to make me feel secure in my decisions. I am also learning that when you know something is right for you, when you've looked at it from every angle and discussed it with everyone involved, you just need to go for it. If we sat around and waited for all of our ducks to be lined up in a perfect row, we might never move forward. Society tells us that we should have the perfect education, have all of our debt paid off with money in the bank, travel the world, 'sow your oats', then go through tons of therapy before you should ever settle down and get married. You need to be *ready*. Well screw that. I would still be single if I had waited for all of that. There would be no Owen, Will and Jake. I really believe that. <br />
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A friend of ours said to me recently, that when you've made a decision and you know it's right for you, you need to plan your life in the direction of that goal. Do not be distracted by back-up plans. Just follow the natural path of your decision and fate will step in and make it so. It can't promise to happen without hard work and some stress, but it always seems to work out.<br />
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When I look back at what we have accomplished in the past six years, I am reminded that we did good. There's a feeling of hopefulness because these huge risks and changes in our life have proven that when something isn't working, you always have options. Logistics and finances definitely play a role. Of course they do. But more likely than not, it's our fear of failure and of the unknown that prevents us from taking the risk. I hope that our choices will teach my three boys that their worlds aren't small. That they don't have to settle. That if times are tough and opportunities are limited, they can take a risk and look outside of their comfort zone for a solution. That you don't have to feel shame in trying something out, then going back to where you started.<br />
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So here we are today. Our house still hasn't sold. But we've got a home waiting in Ontario. We have the moving truck lined up. The boys are nearly registered for their new schools. The job lined up. The summer plans all swirling in our brains. Our goodbyes all ready to overflow into tears when July rolls around. But we're on our way. <br />
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Please keep us in your thoughts and cross all fingers and toes that our stresses will be over and that everything will fall into place. I've got faith!!! <br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-53603974565079924422012-05-25T12:16:00.000-06:002012-05-25T12:16:08.063-06:00Thank you to Carly and her VoiceAt two years and four months (and 17 days but who's counting?) old, I heard a doctor tell me that Owen had autism. After those words, the rest that followed just sounded like it was Charlie Brown's teacher talking. But somewhere in there, I heard about a course we could sign up for called <a href="http://www.hanen.org/Professional-Development/Workshops-for-Speech-Language-Pathologists/Stream-1-Workshops-for-SLPs--Working-with-Parents/More-Than-Words-Workshops.aspx" target="_blank">'More Than Words'</a>. I had a non-verbal child who would require a lot of support, but there was great hope that he would eventually be able to speak. At this point, he wasn't communicating a single thought other than sheer frustration in his tantrums, so I would later learn to appreciate every communication milestone as they came. But they came slowly and few and far between. <br />
At the same time, or to be precise, one exact week later- I heard that same doctor tell me that Owen's twin brother, Will had autism. Again, I heard that Will would require a lot of support, but we were hopeful that he may someday speak. It took a lot of ABA, a lot of speech therapy and a lot of effort on Will's part, but he got there. William can now communicate his wants, and they usually come in single word demands that have recently been followed by long, drawn-out and curled "pulllllllllleeeeeeease"-es. I would still *label* him as non-verbal, because he is very difficult to understand, however. We hear a lot of scripting from his favourite movies, where he repeats long excerpts and phrases. He is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia" target="_blank">echolalic</a> and often doesn't understand when he is asked a question, as he will simply repeat what you said. He sings a ton and we are often woken up at 2am to the sound of Hakuna Matata at the top of his lungs. He's recently become more consistent in his ability to label emotions such as "I'm happy" or "I'm sad" and he has also mastered the art of embarrassing his parents by shrieking "Help! Somebody! Anybody! Hellllllllp!" when he doesn't get the toy he wants in the Disney Store. But the sweetest blessing of all is the fact that every night before he falls to sleep, after singing Barney's "I love you, you love me.." and "Twinkle Twinkle", I get a very deliberate "I love you Mommy!". What more can I ask for? <br />
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I believe that Will will continue to make progress in his communication and as with everything else where he is concerned, it will come when he's ready. He uses apps on his iPad to communicate when necessary and although he is very competent, he just isn't interested. He has taught himself a vast vocabulary and can read and write using apps such as <a href="http://www.assistiveware.com/product/proloquo2go" target="_blank">Proloquo2go</a>, but I do dream of the day where we can carry a conversation. That day will come. <br />
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As for Owen. Aaah, sweet Owen. Life has been more of a challenge for Owen. He has had all of the same opportunities as Will has had with ABA, Speech and Occupational Therapy and perhaps even more so than his brother. Hundreds of hours practising vowel sounds, of trying to shape the muscles in his mouth and to place his tongue in the right position. Countless hours, tons of laminated printed cards and velcro for PECS. Tireless aides who have used hand-over-hand to position his hands and arms into place to sign, or to teach through repetition, the functions of Proloquo2go on the iPod and iPads. Owen still has very little interest in letters and the alphabet. He is very quick to learn each new method of communication, but seems unmotivated to use it consistently. We spend entire years on single-word goals and after 4 years of working on saying the word "bottle" (it comes out "baw-tee"), he has now grown up and moved on to drinking from a cup before ever mastering it. But Owen is doing okay. There is no denying that he is happy. He is engaged with us and the people he loves. He is not complacent and withdrawn- if he wants something, he will let you know. He will use a combination of all of his tricks to get you to understand what he wants. <br />
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Seven years ago, that doctor was right. It is More Than Words. I gets hugs and the most beautiful giggles and beaming smiles every single day. Life is good and some days, I can almost believe that it's good enough. <br />
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But then, there's this girl named Carly. <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cWsHysA6Dwo" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Carly reminds me not to give up on Owen (or Will, for that matter). I look at Carly and I am magically reminded of every person's *potential*. We've all got it. No matter what obstacles or challenges present themselves, we cannot forget that we all have the potential for more. We can be satisfied with what we have, but what if all it takes is a simple step, to unlock the potential or in Owen's case, to unlock his voice - within? I am tormented by this and feel that knowing what Carly has been able to do has been a blessing and a curse. It could be easy to just sit back and accept that Owen can't speak. But what brilliance and beauty there must be inside of him, waiting to come out! I can't believe that this little boy, with his most soul-kissed blue eyes, is not made of greatness just yearning to be heard by someone. Maybe all he wants to say is "for God's sake, Mom. That music you've been listening to for all these years has made me want to puke". But I want to hear it. In whatever form it comes - through art, through sign language, through writing or from an automated voice. I can't give up on Owen and I won't. <br />
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I am so appreciative of social media and how it has connected me with people and groups that I may not have otherwise heard of. To Carly and her family, for sharing their story - it has been a great gift. Someday I hope that you will hear Owen and Will speaking for themselves. <br />
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But for now, I urge you to learn more about Carly and her family and how autism has affected them. Carly and her father have recently come out with a wonderfully insightful book called <a href="http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Carlys-Voice-Breaking-Through-Autism-Arthur-Fleischmann/9781439194140-item.html?ikwid=carly%27s+voice&ikwsec=Home" target="_blank">Carly's Voice</a> that I encourage everyone to read. Their story and Carly's intelligent insights, are inspiring and helping countless people all over the world. <br />
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Coincidentally, as I was searching for a link to a youtube video on Carly, I caught a glimpse of Owen in one of the thumbnails. You can kill two birds with one stone and watch the following video that was a segment from the Toronto news on World Autism Awareness Day. You'll get to hear some great stories that starts with Carly's dad, Arthur. At about the 15:55 minute mark, while Suzanne Lanthier of <a href="http://www.autismspeaks.ca/" target="_blank">Autism Speaks Canada</a> speaks, you'll see some footage of my boys and our family from an autism news story we participated in a couple of years ago!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6x0v7GSMGa0" width="420"></iframe><br />
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So while you chat today with your friends and family, or while you write a note to express yourself, or while you hum along to a tune on the radio, please be grateful for your voice. And please say a little prayer of encouragement that one day both of my boys will have a greater voice as well.<br />
<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-71433147083995576022012-05-24T18:38:00.000-06:002012-05-24T18:38:10.032-06:00We're Back!!!She's back!
We've come full circle. Six years ago our family packed up and trekked from Ontario to Calgary to access better Autism early intervention services for Will and Owen. What a ride it has been. Now we are preparing to pack up and move back to where we started. Six years older. Six years wiser. Six years worth of support, education and memories to go back with. A family that was once afraid and anxious of the unknown world of autism that lay before them, coming back a family that's a little stronger, still afraid and anxious of the unknown, but more united and if anything, at least sure that they can tackle whatever challenges lay ahead as long as they are together.
I took a break from blogging over the past year or two. I got caught up in my fears about protecting myself from judgement and about worrying about the boundaries of safety and privacy for my family.
This time around, I will be more cautious, but hopefully just as candid. But I have a huge favour to ask of readers. A contract, if you will. I had debated setting up an entirely new blog that was password-protected, only given out to those I trusted. But I think I have to trust that you all will honour my request.
PLEASE feel free to share this blog with friends and family who you feel may get something from this; information about autism or otherwise.
- but PLEASE do not attach our last name (if you know it) or any of our personal details with the blog address when you share it.
PLEASE do not copy photos of my kids and family without my permission. They are our property and ours alone. Even if you are family. Just ask!
I'm not looking for free advertising. If our stories can help someone, I'm thrilled. But I am not writing for the sake of turning us into the poster-family of autism. PLEASE don't broadcast our names and blog address on your facebook statuses. A little subtlety is more than enough attention for us. Post a link if there's something you want to share, but please don't post it just to show us off.
This time around, I've got an eleven year old who loves attention, but is also just as quick to yell at his mom if we embarrass him. I am treading a fine line between sharing stories, while trying to honour the privacy of my kids and my marriage. But I'm diving back in and looking forward to getting re-acquainted with you.
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<a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-82104590950867957582011-10-16T23:13:00.000-06:002011-10-16T23:13:03.229-06:00Digging Deep and Asking For & Accepting Help<break>I've seen scenes in movies where the victim falls to their knees and cries to the heavens for help. They've hit their bottom. They have exhausted all options and finally succumbed to the last resort of begging for someone to hear them as they shout out to an empty room. Notice I said victim. </break><break>Those movie scenes made me laugh inside. I'd scoff at the actors as they talked out loud to their <em>Higher Power</em> or their dearly departed, in whom they were now placing all their faith that somehow magically, their <em>spirit</em> would swoop down and solve all their problems. </break><br />
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<break>I'm not a hard-core cynic. I believe that I've got some guardian angels of my own who have watched over me over the years. I have been known to silently say a prayer or two in my bleaker moments and pray that my Nan and Pop can help me through whatever tough spot I have found myself in. But have I truly believed that anyone heard my pleas? The ones that I silently uttered in the privacy of my own thoughts? - Not really. </break><br />
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<break>Last Saturday I found myself in a scene from a movie. As I entered the darkness of my walk-in closet, I unashamedly found myself dropping to my knees, laundry basket falling to the floor, and I cried out. "Please! If you can hear me, Please help me! I need help. Help me dig deeper to find the strength to keep it together and to pull my family out of this hole. Please show me what I'm missing, what I can't see, what I need to do to figure out how to keep my boys safe. Please watch over Will and keep him safe." </break><break>I am a little embarrassed to share that with the world, but you know what? I was at my bottom and when you're desperate, you do what you have to do. </break><br />
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<break>The cause of my panic?</break><br />
<break>Toy Story. Will's most recent love and obsession. Watch this scene.</break><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/WMIhIDAmHUo" width="420"></iframe><br />
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Seems harmless? Who doesn't love Woody and his bravery? Not so harmless when your eight year old son's obsessive compulsive behaviours are so extreme that he is driven to run away from the safety of his home, to dart out into traffic and hurl himself under MOVING vehicles to either reenact the scene above, or to search for his beloved Woody and Toy Story friends. Nothing can drive you to your knees in prayer like the sight of your son's bare feet sticking out from under a van, surrounded by strangers kneeling to look underneath. I thought he was gone from us. I thought he was run over. Someone was watching over him that day. And the day after when he did it again. <br />
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And after one of the most terror-filled and intense weeks of my life, of desperately shopping for, and installing even MORE locks that Will can't figure out, for every external door in this house, Will upped the ante again. So what caused the next horror in our home less than a week later? Could it have been this scene?<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/j0v7NrdlZEo" width="560"></iframe><br />
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I am a woman who does not see the upper level of her home because she must have all eyes on her doors. I don't shower unless my husband is at home. I can go hours needing to pee, but don't because my guys wait for those moments. My twins might put themselves in harm's way, they might be naughty sometimes, over-zealous, opportunistic and too adventurous. But one thing they are not - is stupid. They are smarter than most adults that I know. They are uber-observant, their memories are SHARP, they are quick thinkers and they know what they want. Just when I think I've got a handle on things, they throw me a curve ball and remind me that I can't let my guard down for a second. <br />
9am and my doorbell rings. I had just checked on Will and left him playing with his ipod on his bed in his room. A woman at my door frantically asks me "do you know that there is a little boy running on your roof?". My blood ran cold. Buzz Lightyear's fall from a window was the likely cause of Will's newest interest in my upper story windows. <br />
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What more can I say. I can continue to list the trials we have gone through this week. I can tell you that when we figured out a solution to secure our windows to prevent another escape, that I slept soundly for the first time in years - without the stress of waking from every creak or noise from outside, imagining that Will had escaped beneath our noses. I have dug deeper than I ever imagined possible. To find the strength to cope. To put on a brave face and smile with my children so that they don't know the terror I feel inside. To stay positive when talking with my husband so that we can keep each other from sinking into a permanent place of fear. I have shared this story. There is only so much phony "we're fine" lines we can sell. I'm sick of pretending we've got it all under control. In telling this story we've had offers of help and support from some of the most generous and kind people - people who barely know us. And I am learning to accept that help. Because I have to. Because it's for my boys. Because if I'm at a point when I am dropping to my knees and begging, I think it's time I take the hand that has been offered in response. <br />
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And in recognition to all of those who reach out a hand or a word of support when they recognize our need, here's a favourite scene from our beloved/cursed Toy Story movie...<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zB2gPZRsz0Q" width="420"></iframe><br />
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<break><break><a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-72829612209227866352011-02-03T14:04:00.000-07:002011-02-03T14:04:35.124-07:00The View From HereEvery parent deserves a couple of minutes of peace and privacy in their day. For us, that can sometimes only be found in The Royal Lavatory. With capitals. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my husband's code name for his reading room, it is the the bathroom.<br />
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Owen and Will haven't got these rules figured out yet. No surprise there, but I never dreamt that we would need to implement a program to teach that a closed door means 'don't go in'.<br />
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Yesterday afternoon, I was out of the house for a few hours as I ran a bunch of errands before picking up the boys from school. Add to that a couple of cups of coffee and a couple of meltdowns on the drive home and you can understand why my couple of minutes on the throne were a couple of minutes I was looking forward to.<br />
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Here was a view from my sanctuary, don't worry it isn't labeled NSFW (Not Safe For Work): <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2fJz2ual3PZ0Jf7mZ5lf_-o62zadNMEwM0Fnx8taXPCBD5SH5oIbQ6Ld0LxbNdO4KeLdhqgpBLmzRSlMjpp2ZpfP_Oc5hZmAhiHgOtZ8dpS2BLScU8aj0ddvzROA199ebfCk8A/s1600/view" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2fJz2ual3PZ0Jf7mZ5lf_-o62zadNMEwM0Fnx8taXPCBD5SH5oIbQ6Ld0LxbNdO4KeLdhqgpBLmzRSlMjpp2ZpfP_Oc5hZmAhiHgOtZ8dpS2BLScU8aj0ddvzROA199ebfCk8A/s400/view" width="400" /></a><br />
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Owen charged in the moment my cheeks hit the porcelain. He wanted me to find Sesame Street on YouTube RIGHT NOW! and he proceeded to scream bloody murder to show his upset. Will ran in to pull Owen's hair to let him know he wasn't happy about the noise. It didn't help. Jess the dog ran in to lick my face in her anxiety that the world was ending.<br />
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Where's the peace? A couple of seconds to pee. Is that too much to ask?<br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-79046375842043593832010-10-07T13:11:00.000-06:002010-10-07T13:11:48.265-06:00Great Seats and a Second HomeI was fortunate enough to be invited to contribute to a new blog that has been created for Calgary folks. Modeled after a blog in Ottawa, Canada called <a href="http://kidsinthecapital.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Kids in the Capital</a>, blogger <a href="http://fourdayshome.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Danielle</a> created <a href="http://url/" target="_blank">Kids in Cowtown</a>; a place where parents can get ideas from other parents in the Calgary area for things to do in the city with their kids. Considering how little we do with the boys out here, besides all of our scenic drives, I'm not sure I'll have a lot to contribute. But I can certainly promise that I'll be looking to my fellow blogmates for ideas in the future.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://kidsincowtown.wordpress.com/"><img 125″="" at="" blog="" border="0″alt=" height="200" i="" kidsincowtown.com="" src="http://kidsincowtown.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/iblog.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
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Besides promoting the new blog, I thought I would repeat my first post right here at Willowjak Boys. If you live anywhere in North America, then this might be a helpful tip:<br />
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<b>Best Seats in the House</b><br />
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Have you ever taken the kids to a concert to see their favourite tv characters perform and wound up sitting three football fields away from the stage? Trying to convince your child that the purple bobbing blob who is heard faintly singing “I love you”, is Barney and not a bunch of grapes is a bit of a let-down. Especially when you realize you’ve paid $200 for a family of four to find more entertainment in people-watching around you, than trying to lip-read through your binoculars.<br />
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My family of five is comprised of three boys; a set of 7-year-old twins who are moderately to severely affected by autism, and their 9-year-old brother. To even make the decision to venture out of the house and into the community is a huge undertaking and commitment. If my husband and I are going to go through all the prep of getting the boys to an outing and gathering enough strength and patience to prepare for the chaos that might ensue, we better be getting our money’s worth.<br />
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I was always convinced that the people in the best seats must be related to the performers or the crew. My twins are absolutely and thoroughly obsessed with the likes of The Wiggles, Sesame Street and High-5 to name a few. If we went to a show and sat a hundred rows back, they wouldn’t even lift their eyes away from the fascination of their mismatched length of shoe laces. They need to see those guys up close. So how do those lucky families get the great seats?<br />
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A few years ago I heard a radio station announce that if you were a member of their fan club, you would be receiving an email with the pre-sale password that would enable you to purchase tickets with the VIP’s before the general public would have their shot. I raced home and googled the words “free pre-sale passwords” and found my new best friends.<br />
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WiseGuys Presale Passwords is a blog where its writers post updated concert and show announcements from all over North America, all pre-sale passwords and usually the dates that the pre-sales are happening. The best part is that it’s all FREE! There is a place on the blog where you can sign-up to receive daily emails and that’s what I have done. Every day I get an email in my inbox which has concert announcements for cities across the US and Canada. It only takes a quick scan and I delete them if the locations aren’t of interest to me. I must say that it has also come in handy to purchase the odd ticket for friends or family in other provinces as a gift, or simply to forward my contacts this information in case that hadn’t heard about it themselves in the city they are in.<br />
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With the password in hand, if I have managed to get online at the opening of the pre-sale, I have been fortunate enough to score fantastic seats. I can’t tell you how thrilled my twins were when we went to Sesame St. Live a couple of years ago. We were front and centre at the Southern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium. With my boys’ chins resting in their hands, elbows on the stage and their eyes staring in wonder at the very characters that they had danced to on their tv screens at home, I learned that there is no other way to take in a show.<br />
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With next Friday’s upcoming Wiggles show at the Pengrowth Saddledome, maybe I’ll see you when I look back at the crowd. But hopefully the next time they’re in town, we’ll get seats side-by-side in the front!<br />
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*there are still tickets available at Ticket Master.*<br />
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Hope you come and check us out in my second home!<br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-85377798769764538682010-10-04T21:34:00.002-06:002011-10-17T20:24:05.213-06:00Step-by-Step Approach to Implementing the GF/CF DietI have a much longer post to write, but as I was coming up with it, I came across this video with information on how to get started with the Gluten Free/Casein Free Diet. <br />
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I attended two different workshops put on by Sueson Vess and Betsy Hicks at the Autism One conferences in 2008 and 2009 and got SO MUCH out of them. Sueson Vess is a truly wonderful chef and in my few experiences in talking with her, I found that she is so generous with sharing her knowledge. I strongly urge you to contact her when/if you've got those tough questions about special diets and if she can't answer them herself, her website is full of information as well <a href="http://www.specialeats.com/">Special Eats</a>.<br />
<br />
Here is another informative blog post that might give some extra tips included a Yahoo Group whose members might also help guide you on this path: <a href="http://www.autismone.com/content/autism-recovery-diet-plusand-successful-recoveries">Click Here To view The Autism Recovery Diet PLUS...and successful recoveries!</a><br />
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As my own little footnote, I will state again that the GFCF diet had a significantly positive impact on Will and Owen. In a future post, I will let you in on where we are now, as it has been two years since we went on this journey and now we have some new changes to make. I will caution that this is OUR experience and it does not mean that I am pushing any other families to go this route, especially if you aren't ready. It is a huge commitment and there really isn't much point if you don't do it 100%. GFCF worked for us, but good and clean nutrition is really the most important thing and our ultimate goal for the boys. More on this later...<br />
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<div id="refHTML"></div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-3004578256569643622010-09-21T23:28:00.000-06:002010-09-21T23:28:08.173-06:00MomentsWalking along the sidewalk, the sounds of the kids in the schoolyard faded into the background and all of a sudden my sole focus was on the warm little hands that were gripping mine. I'm a mom whose sentimentality is often saved for when I have a minute to myself, alone, and usually when I write. But today I was struck by how lucky I was to have these two little boys who wanted to hold my hand. <br />
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In that moment, I flashed to the future and had a vision of walking down a similar pathway, with the same two hands now much bigger, holding mine. Would we still share little inside jokes that would make them giggle? 0r will they be telling me jokes that will make me double over in laughter? Will they tower over me and grab a hand in protection of their mum or will they push it away in embarrassment so that their friends don't see them? <br />
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Do parents of typical kids realize what a gift they have? Do they understand that the parents of children with autism often have to deal with the heartbreak of having children who don't want to be touched, or cuddled? While they may have the gift of having affectionate children, I have the gift of having learned a valuable lesson. To appreciate these little moments because they can never be taken for granted. <br />
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* * * * *<br />
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We have been a Wiggles family for the past 6 years. Will lives in a bedroom with each wall a different Wiggly colour (red, blue, yellow and purple) and Anthony, Greg, Jeff and Murray dolls go wherever he goes. But his world wasn't complete. He had Dorothy the Dinosaur, Wags the Dog and Henry the 0ctopus, but no Captain Feathersword (the horror!). Yesterday, guess who showed up at our door in a bubble envelope? All the way from the UK, Daddy made Will's day, when the Cap'n joined our crew.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp3Nb_07C0lsES5RNPd8xJBfnzEJpeg4N5sHnoFUguSayFkGkBbqNiUOHhp2wcTGZuh5YDmbTz0c2ZkFYQ2002abyljjvtaZ2nRnFVebFLEkWkQq1DYF-kLC7QF74CqSCYf7bXPw/s1600/IMG_0262.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp3Nb_07C0lsES5RNPd8xJBfnzEJpeg4N5sHnoFUguSayFkGkBbqNiUOHhp2wcTGZuh5YDmbTz0c2ZkFYQ2002abyljjvtaZ2nRnFVebFLEkWkQq1DYF-kLC7QF74CqSCYf7bXPw/s640/IMG_0262.JPG" width="356" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQAqUoEldG02rMTH0u9ifnR0-1JM834Ux2QNqjWcZ_MIpusdaTN_fY8PevlUfwbDHg73GniynFUZG3Gpw8GBfdtm3ve8Q_aUtaA11bMCbqjWqCHtg7lqSafMlOIblrF4HwjGRVVQ/s1600/IMG_0263.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQAqUoEldG02rMTH0u9ifnR0-1JM834Ux2QNqjWcZ_MIpusdaTN_fY8PevlUfwbDHg73GniynFUZG3Gpw8GBfdtm3ve8Q_aUtaA11bMCbqjWqCHtg7lqSafMlOIblrF4HwjGRVVQ/s640/IMG_0263.JPG" width="358" /></a></div>How's that for a moment?<br />
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* * * * *<br />
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Passed on from 0wen's teachers today after school:<br />
At circle time. "Today is Tues..", with 0wen piping in unexpectedly "DAY"!!<br />
Mom's reaction: "YAY!"<br />
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* * * * *<br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-5674313679945980342010-09-19T00:03:00.000-06:002010-09-19T00:03:48.320-06:00The Things People SayI won't pretend to be the first person to blog on this subject. In fact, I have read so many posts on this subject and all have left me seething mad and shaking my head. Moms and Dad of multiples, of children with special needs, with visible deformities, of children of mixed race, of children who are taller or smaller than their age; all have likely faced the challenge of meeting people, who by either ignorance or maliciousness make comments that leave a sting that doesn't easily fade.<br />
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We've heard a few. Some that are the most hurtful are the ones that aren't spoken.<br />
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- my kids are a danger to their peers and those other children need to be protected from them<br />
- at the moment of discovery that a child is 'retarded', they should be euthanized because they are just a drain on society<br />
- my children have autism as a result of my not nursing them, or because having three children so close together caused me to neglect them, or because I must have been a frigid mother (all three of these comments came from the same woman while at a fundraising event to support the twins!)<br />
- a skeptic (I think she was doubtful that autism is even a real diagnosis) who knew me well, claimed that if I only spent a bit more time working at it, it shouldn't be hard to get the kids to talk<br />
- my children are a bad influence on other children<br />
- just give them a smack and they'll learn better behaviour<br />
- they'd be better off in a group home or institution<br />
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I'm not a newbie at this. The boys have been diagnosed for over five years now so I should be used to the comments. But I'm not. In fact, I am probably that much more defensive of the underdog as the years go on. I truly can feel compassion for people's discomfort when they struggle to find the right words when referring to my children's differences. Even five years ago, autism wasn't a word that everyone had heard of. What I don't understand, is how a person can call themselves a compassionate person, and continue to use words that are hurtful, or who choose to offer their opinion to a stranger without invitation or who think that my children are not as worthy as a typical child. I am intolerant of any and all insults and take special offense to the cavalier use of the words and expressions, "that's so gay" or "you're retarded". I can't understand why people can't wrap their heads around the idea that those comments may be offensive to someone. Short bus jokes are not funny. If there is someone out there who <i><b>may</b></i> take offense, then don't tell it. Particularly if the subject of your 'not-so-funny joke' is of a vulnerable population and cannot defend themselves or tell you why it hurts them. And probably the greatest crime of all, is how someone could choose to defend their behaviour and continue to speak in this way.<br />
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It is so beautifully put by actor, John C. McGinley:<br />
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Ignorance is bliss. If you are one of those people who fall into this category, if you thought it was just a joke, or that your comments weren't intended to do harm, or that your opinions were not meant to be taken too seriously, I'll forgive you. But after reading this, you are no longer ignorant. <br />
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Now you know.<br />
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Particularly, if you use the word retarded, it hurts me. It hurts my 9 year old son, who has heard that word used to insult his two brothers. It hurts my husband who doesn't know what to do with his feeling of helplessness, when he can't do anything to protect his children. It hurts Will and 0wen. <br />
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Now you know. Please choose your words more thoughtfully.<br />
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<a href="http://www.r-word.org/"><img alt="r-word.org" border="0" src="http://r-word.org/badge_300x250_v3.gif" /></a><br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-16899351917202077632010-09-16T19:50:00.000-06:002010-09-16T19:50:55.839-06:00Did You Know?<div style="color: #cc0000; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">All Ab</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span id="profile_status">out </span><span id="profile_status"></span></span><span style="font-size: x-large;">O</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span id="profile_status">wen</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKlxT-fHdrQ-T1RlhRSTU4V6h_8aqHRGH6qkInMizPE0CcFuStLcSAvFTe19TkvvGcSIpio9igk_nInEqRlkuqPXyL15Sd8R0PdB0fufkFBvG4FMCsYpAvKWf_WD7KncDrj7B_ow/s1600/IMG_0210.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="528" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKlxT-fHdrQ-T1RlhRSTU4V6h_8aqHRGH6qkInMizPE0CcFuStLcSAvFTe19TkvvGcSIpio9igk_nInEqRlkuqPXyL15Sd8R0PdB0fufkFBvG4FMCsYpAvKWf_WD7KncDrj7B_ow/s640/IMG_0210.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
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<br />
- he's been <i><b>fully and independently </b></i>toilet trained since before the summer with not even a pull-up overnight?! (no more diapers after 9 years for Mom and Dad!)<br />
- he has started to try and vocalize sounds for the first time in two years and can now proudly say <span style="color: #990000;">bye, hat, hi, happy, eat <span style="color: black;">and</span> bottle.</span><br />
- he had his first time off from a home-based therapy program this summer- a whole summer off to be a normal kid!<br />
- he gets his hair cut regularly with no tantrums! clippers and scissors.<br />
- after dentist visits every 3 months to get used to the office, people and equipment, he is now allowing the dentist to scrape his teeth!<br />
- he is <i>this close</i> to dunking his head under water in the bath and in the pool. Nose and mouth are in there so it won't be long!<br />
- remember the kid who couldn't walk three steps without falling down or who couldn't bend his head backwards? Check him out now:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzwEAonOZJeGqd6DZm32CPDpG-EqTnTyMw7YeNh7VCYQXQNQSqZ-U2zVZ_n-MbIxyaihe-iWgVcAP4' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
- he is ch<span id="profile_status">o</span><span id="profile_status">osing t</span><span id="profile_status">o use sign language and learning and c</span><span id="profile_status">o</span><span id="profile_status">mmunicating m</span><span id="profile_status">ore w</span><span id="profile_status">ords and phrases every day.</span><br />
<span id="profile_status">- he is finally sh</span><span id="profile_status">owing an interest, and identifying the letters </span><span id="profile_status">of the alphabet and c</span><span id="profile_status">ol</span><span id="profile_status">ours</span><br />
<span id="profile_status">- thanks t</span><span id="profile_status">o grandparents, he n</span><span id="profile_status">ow has an ip</span><span id="profile_status">od t</span><span id="profile_status">ouch and is using <a href="http://www.proloquo2go.com/" target="_blank">Proloquo2go</a> to communicate with a voice </span><br />
<span id="profile_status">and I use <br />
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<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tZKFuKVYGhc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tZKFuKVYGhc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> </span><br />
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<span id="profile_status">for visual schedules with him.<br />
- his eye contact is incredible and his connection with people is really remarkable</span><span id="profile_status"> (that doesn't mean he won't take a few days to get used to you first). </span><br />
<span id="profile_status">- he's mischievous like his younger brother, Will. Whenever something disappears in the house- you can guarantee that it is stashed away in his room and the item is most likely something precious to someone: Will's favourite stuffies, Jake's favourite book, the remote control.. And in the past month, Mom's glasses have been bent in half, an entire tube of toothpaste has been emptied and squeezed throughout the bathroom, Mom's storage of files have been pulled out from under the bed and thrown scattered throughout her room and just tonight, a whole tube of Jake's temporary electric blue hair dye was dumped and ground into our (already-destroyed) beige carpet. And although the damages are great, inside I'm smiling.</span><br />
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<span id="profile_status">Because all of this is a sign of great things to come. Teachers and aides alike are all declaring that this is his year. The year of the break-through.</span><br />
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<blockquote><i><i>Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken</i> in my own time</i>. ~Deborah Chaskin</blockquote>It's <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Owen's time.</span></span>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-59988120665000699082010-09-16T00:04:00.000-06:002010-09-16T00:04:58.144-06:00Don't Quit<div style="text-align: center;"><blockquote>When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,<br />
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,<br />
When the funds are low and the debts are high,<br />
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,<br />
When care is pressing you down a bit,<br />
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.<br />
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Life is queer with its twists and turns,<br />
As every one of us sometimes learns,<br />
And many a failure turns about,<br />
When he might have won had he stuck it out;<br />
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--<br />
You may succeed with another blow.<br />
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Often the goal is nearer than,<br />
It seems to a faint and faltering man,<br />
Often the struggler has given up,<br />
When he might have captured the victor's cup,<br />
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,<br />
How close he was to the golden crown.<br />
<br />
Success is failure turned inside out--<br />
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,<br />
And you never can tell how close you are,<br />
It may be near when it seems so far,<br />
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--<br />
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.<br />
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- Author unknown </blockquote></div><br />
A fellow Autism Momma forwarded this email to me the other day and at first, I read it with myself in mind. But after a second read, I thought about my twins. They are seven now and the beginning of their short lives has not been an easy one. Not in the obvious sense, given their challenges. But in the sense that they have worked their asses off, putting in more effort to their 'work' than probably the majority of the adult work force.<br />
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My father-in-law, David just spent the summer with us. He suffered a severe stroke years ago and lost his speech. He has aphasia and the impact has been pretty significant; it has affected his ability to speak, he may know what he wants to say, but cannot find the words to express his thoughts. He sometimes has trouble understanding what other people are saying to him, he can still hear what is being said, but may not understand what they are saying. He sometimes has difficulty following conversations, particularly when the information is complicated or when many people are talking at once.<br />
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The irony wasn't lost on me. As we all adapted to this much more compassionate, patient and sometimes difficult communication, I had a deep sense of understanding that this is likely what my boys go through. David was able to verbalize to me, his extreme frustration in not being able to freely speak his mind. His hand slapped the table in emphasis as he fiercely stated "I am in here!". He explained that when conversations become too overwhelming, busy or complicated to follow, it is easier to mentally check out because of how exhausting it is to stay with it. <br />
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Not only do 0wen and Will struggle every moment to be understood and to understand the people around them, but they work. HARD. 5 years of intensive home therapy- rarely a week goes by when a therapist doesn't come to the house. We tell them what to do. We give instructions. We correct. We reinforce. We assign tasks. We redirect. We drive them nuts.<br />
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All this to say that I recognize their efforts. Their courage is admirable. They don't know enough to quit. They take pride in their successes and they keep going. They really are my heroes.<br />
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<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24497270.post-19545631430506988962010-09-09T22:37:00.002-06:002010-09-09T23:35:46.399-06:00Posts for the Pooches<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYf42GgqKb5a5bfEnH-uU4dpiRcp6GVuJwZK-uzzNPmd3wALDijLE7hHiGHJ7WLp8b7LTFDOyDZCVmkDg9lS5YEak515UaWotizCMhju3Fr3fAvrvowT8C3DVja_5DT7t9B8KQZg/s1600/IMG_8213.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYf42GgqKb5a5bfEnH-uU4dpiRcp6GVuJwZK-uzzNPmd3wALDijLE7hHiGHJ7WLp8b7LTFDOyDZCVmkDg9lS5YEak515UaWotizCMhju3Fr3fAvrvowT8C3DVja_5DT7t9B8KQZg/s640/IMG_8213.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<blockquote style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><i>A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><i> Josh Turner </i></span></blockquote><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_4LhBOudAtjel66AspqBsHBO3n5aj1j9xFvo8cQaCwDY5fkuKnt7i7qdfwFeWRDcxJt1CQ12LZ7R_aMGs6cTOHpdfWY7frGtQaRRp77IybClFIm9YdcrgyWjGiLB2MvX9-pigAw/s1600/PIC_0396.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_4LhBOudAtjel66AspqBsHBO3n5aj1j9xFvo8cQaCwDY5fkuKnt7i7qdfwFeWRDcxJt1CQ12LZ7R_aMGs6cTOHpdfWY7frGtQaRRp77IybClFIm9YdcrgyWjGiLB2MvX9-pigAw/s640/PIC_0396.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
We lost our Matilda on Easter weekend. Mere days after my post about nearly losing 0wen. Mattie had gone stone deaf the year prior and had lost her eyesight in both eyes in January. The photo above was probably the last taken of a 'good day' spent with her. It wasn't long before she started rejecting us and isolating herself, probably lost in a dark, silent pit of fear and depression. It broke our hearts to say goodbye to her. She had been a faithful, squiggly, snorty ball of love and had seen our family grow from our engagement, to marriage, to three kids, to a move across country. She will be forever missed and not a day goes by that I don't remember how it felt to have her snuggled up to me or to hear her snoring through the night. We miss our Mattie.<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><span style="color: tomato;"><span style="color: palegreen;"><span style="color: gold;"><span style="color: crimson;"><span style="color: sandybrown;"></span></span></span></span></span></i></span><br />
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I really thought it would be ages before we'd ever bring a new pet into the house. I'll admit that the respite from having to care for another body in the house and Jonathan loved not having to scoop poop in the yard- it was nice. But from the moment that it was even suggested that we might look at getting another dog in the next year or so, had me searching on the net "just for fun". I came across a Pet Rescue agency in Calgary and naturally, it displayed all of the pups who needed homes.<br />
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Introducing Jesse and Ventura "Tura". 0ur girls were rescued in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and the agency told us they were named after Jesse Ventura, because his wife is who found the pups in the street and brought them into the shelter there.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1rEm5ITeTy0A6AhDBa5w8I9JjAoaXtOWWI0XLUOXlsPzEarflhaiK3dlPME5oglFg2she6KVeqm5cJuFU90uIWjvKkN_plf6pt6FZWTB2JmaVgJ_NGU2wIqbJ_AFyAfJoLKEbAw/s1600/DSC01667.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1rEm5ITeTy0A6AhDBa5w8I9JjAoaXtOWWI0XLUOXlsPzEarflhaiK3dlPME5oglFg2she6KVeqm5cJuFU90uIWjvKkN_plf6pt6FZWTB2JmaVgJ_NGU2wIqbJ_AFyAfJoLKEbAw/s640/DSC01667.JPG" width="640" /></a>If you think I was crazy to take two pups on in this crazy house- you're more than right. It's been a nightmare as far as the messes and the training. But they're gorgeous. They're love sponges. We love them.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwCf_jOLVoMHEWW-sZzWc9lIt1g4NWiforMAyHqWV-oJkQ9drH5Xccb7Y12S5c4pADC8-O0OCCi2H1mRvYRl9YUuxyZTgxWQnw-MPQuCdhW2CjbipVYqDwnEEIhyc5vGY79WNyqg/s1600/IMG_0215.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwCf_jOLVoMHEWW-sZzWc9lIt1g4NWiforMAyHqWV-oJkQ9drH5Xccb7Y12S5c4pADC8-O0OCCi2H1mRvYRl9YUuxyZTgxWQnw-MPQuCdhW2CjbipVYqDwnEEIhyc5vGY79WNyqg/s640/IMG_0215.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<blockquote><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><i>Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole </i></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><i> </i></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><i> Roger Caras </i></span></blockquote><br />
<break> <break> <a border="0" href="http://blogaliciousdesigns.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://assets.blogaliciousdesigns.com/clients/willowjak/signature.png" style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a></break></break>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09862459438694060262noreply@blogger.com3