My Words Of Advice:
Let me tell you a little story about how I started my day today. I had dropped the boys off for school and had a bit of time to kill before a doctor's appointment. I thought I would drop in to a nearby Denny's for a coffee while I waited.
Let me give you a bit of back-drop of my city. Calgary is an old Cowboy town. Not so much now, with its recent inflation of the population, the cowboys are not usually found within city limits unless it's Stampede time. But the downtown business core certainly doesn't look nearly as sophiscated as other high-power cities. It's not exactly full of Hugo Boss, Prada or other brand-name wearers. I'd say business casual to New York or Toronto, would be considered business-formal to Calgarians.
So back to Denny's. I was walking into the restaurant and passed a pair of men who seemed to be leaving a business meeting, given their attire. Both were wearing grey suits.
Not bad. But the big mouthed buddy was wearing them with grey and tan coloured, snakeskin cowboy boots with the POINTIEST toes I have ever seen!
Now I wouldn't say I'm a malicious person or purposefully mean. But I can't deny that I have mean thoughts sometimes. So naturally, I had a few when I saw the mix of these two clothing choices.
So when Buddy says to his friend "Are you kidding me? The ladies love me!!!"(and I'm not really an eavesdropper on purpose, but if you're talking loudly as you walk beside a person, what do you expect?).
I had a mean thought in my head in response to this. I thought (and I warn you, I say not nice, not classy things sometimes in my head), I thought, "Not with those p*ssy boots they don't!". - please don't be offended, I'm ashamed enough of my thoughts as it is.
Now here's my advice. Don't think mean thoughts.
Because you could do the same thing I did and mistakenly SAY THEM OUT LOUD!
I have never felt so horrified in my life. I have never done that before and still don't know how it happened. I probably wouldn't have even realized I'd said it if Buddy's friend didn't spit coffee out of his nose and Buddy didn't call me an F*n B*tch.
I hope my wisdom helps prevent similar future mishaps for you all, or you might just end up being the victim of a pointy toe kicked up the backside.
And as a side-note. If David Beckham was wearing that same combination;
that body
+
the grey suit
4 comments:
Oh. My. Goodness. That is so funny! I almost wet my pants laughing so hard! I can't even imagine LOL I can't quit laughing!
I can't believe it came out of your mouth but it's hilarious! You might be mortified now but trust me, this will make you laugh for years!
I can not believe you said it out loud!!!
I am glad I wasn't drinking anything reading your story- I would have sprayed the monitor! HILARIOUS! I love it- maybe you did a good thing- maybe he got rid of the boots. lol
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