I'm Back!

I'm so tired, I can't come up with anything witty or interesting to entertain you with. But I did want to take a second to let you know Gram survived our trip and we managed to keep any bickering down to a minimum. I'll fill you in with more details of our trip and some boy-updates in the next day or two.

Before I go- you must have noticed the changes that this blog is going through. I have taken on the help of some pretty cool designers, with some pretty cool names - Staci and Stephanie at Blogalicious Designs. Do you like what you see? We are still in the process of organizing and putting everything where it should be, but I hope that you are all as pleased as I am with the design and layout.

Leave me a comment and tell me what you think. Be back soon..

When Gram met Granny in Victoria

So I'm happy to report that there are no stories to tell about having to tie my grandmother to the roof of the car on this trip, though I may have been tempted once or twice to throw her into the harbour.

Our road trip started in Calgary on Friday morning. We drove through Banff, Yoho, Mt. Revelstoke, and Glacier National Parks. I saw a brown bear just past Lake Louise, but otherwise no other wildlife. There was a haze through every valley we drove through and the smell of smoke was so thick through Roger's Pass, that it hit you in the face when we got out of the car.

Roger's Pass

We have heard that the fires are 20% controlled and our highway has opened up if we choose to drive back through the Okanagan, but I don't know how safe (or smart) that will be.

fires still raging near Vernon and Kelowna, British Columbia

We will decide closer to our return date. The forecast predicted thunderstorms throughout the day, but someone forgot to mention it to the sky above us, because we had cloudless skies right through until we reached Hope, British Columbia. It's an interesting little place. You drive through some incredible scenery to get there and the town itself is where the Fraser River is met by the Coquihalla River at the entrance to the Fraser Canyon. What it may be best known for is that it was home to the filming of Rambo: First Blood. If I could remember any of that movie, perhaps I would have included some photos of the sites that appeared in the movie, but I'm afraid I have zero recollection, other than Stallone's terrible acting.

backdrop from the movie???

We set out the next morning for Tsawwassen to catch our ferry to Vancouver Island. The second we parked the car on deck to board, I was in love. It's amazing how one forgets the effect the sea has on your happiness, until you're near it again. I can live without living near the water, until I stand at its shores, then I think that I can't live away from it. Ironic that I live in one our few landlocked provinces. :( I watched a flock of seagulls chasing a bald eagle, I saw trees that were foreign to Ontario or Alberta, on the islands that we passed. I loved every second of the hour and a half ferry ride.

We arrived in Victoria Saturday afternoon and settled into our wonderful, family-run hotel. We are sitting a block and a half away from the harbour, right behind the famous Empress Hotel. Check out the view:

Today was awesome. After much coercing (a very frustrating experience to convince my grandmother to go whale watching, knowing full well that she wants to go while she enjoys complaining and sulking that she doesn't)- we boarded the 5 Star Whale Watching catamaran and had a great time. We saw our J-Pod and it was so great.


From left to right, I was told that they are Ruffles (58 years old), Granny (98 years old), Taquisha and a new unnamed calf. 98 YEARS OLD!!! How amazing is that! It was beautiful to watch these guys and they seemed to jump out of the water just for me to take their photo.

We went for a little ferry boat ride through the inner harbour and stopped at the Fisherman's Wharf for lunch. I decided that I want to buy one of these floating houses. How neat are they? Didn't Jason from the Bachelor live in one of these?



This is the Empress Hotel. So pretty. I'm sorry to be leaving tomorrow, but we have more of the Island to explore. We are hoping to visit the Butchart Gardens and/or Victoria Butterfly Gardens tomorrow before heading up to our next stop in Nanaimo. I'm looking forward to having more pictures to show off!!

Westward We Go

ROAD TRIP! I'm taking Gram to Vancouver Island and we leave in six hours. Two days of driving to get there. Yikes. Weather forecast isn't looking so great for tomorrow, but the rest of the week looks beautiful. I had really hoped to drive through the Okanagan (Kelowna in particular), but sadly, the forest fires are still out of control and there are too many highway closures.

Here is the planned route:
1: Calgary-Banff-Golden-Revelstoke-Salmon Arm-Kamloops-Hope
2: Hope-Vancouver-ferry to the Island-Victoria

Once on the Island, we will stay two days in Victoria, two days in Nanaimo, then ferry back and we will decide then which way we'll return through the Rockies. Either via Whistler or if the roads are clear, through Kelowna.

I thought I would write a little note to tell you all where I'll be. I'm hoping to take lots of photos and provided we have internet access in our hotels, I'll try to update you all on our trip. Hoping to see some ancient trees, lots of wildlife, maybe go whale watching, should be fun. Especially for Gram, who asked me to take her out since she has never been to the West Coast (this will only be my second time).

Let's hope my trip goes better than the Griswalds. Jonathan says I'm a sick puppy for this, but I know Gram would laugh..

Catchy Slogans & Jingles

They just don't make commercials like they used to.

Do you remember when the jingles or slogans to a commercial were so universally recognized that you could repeat the slogan and everyone would instantly know what you were referring to?

- where's the beef? (Wendy's)
- it's the big chunk of fudge! (Oh! Henry)
- I've fallen and I can't get up! (Medic Alert)
- Mikey likes it! (Life cereal)
- This is your brain on drugs
- it melts in your mouth, not in your hand (M&M's)
- finger lickin' good (Kentucky Fried Chicken)

What is it about these commercials that make me feel so good? If I was rational about it, I would see that it has nothing to do with their awesome direction, writing, acting, etc. I think it's just my nostalgia for a time when I had nothing better to do than watch tv and memorize slogans. There is something to be said for the catchy commercials. They're timeless.

"I'd like to buy the world a Coke..."


"I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid..."


"my bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R..."


And remember the California Raisins?

This assignment was hosted by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop at Mama's Losin' It.

Going Crazy

...after listening to Will kicking his wall and his bedroom door for the past 30 minutes. Enough said.

Tuesday's Tribute - Pineridge Nursery School

I know you guys are out there. Parents who have children attending this lovely preschool back in Ontario. I know that Holly is out there. Holly wrote me a beautiful little note that I haven't yet replied to, so I thought I might repay her the favour of linking to my blog, by writing a little something about the place that made such a huge impact on our lives.

Pineridge Nursery School was one of our stepping stones that I believe was a foundation for the twins. At the time, Diane was running things there and I had met her through a class we were taking at church. At the time of the boys' diagnosis, one of the few offers of advice we were given by our developmental pediatrician was to enrol the boys in a preschool so that they could benefit from the exposure to other kids. This absolutely terrified me. Up until this point, not even our family members were entirely comfortable caring for the boys because of their extraordinary quirks/behaviours and needs and I was afraid that a preschool would not be open to the idea of accepting two little boys who wouldn't know how to play by the rules. I think it's a natural fear of a parent to worry if their children are being ignored or mistreated, particulary if their children are non-verbal, as Owen and Will were (and still are). I can't ask them at the end of the day, how it went, if they had fun, what they did, do they like their teachers, who are their friends, etc. To find a preschool that would accept the boys (difficult), that felt safe and where I respected and trusted the teachers, would be a difficult task. But it wasn't.

A good friend from St. Paul's Church helped to coordinate my meeting with Diane at Pineridge. It took only a few days after the diagnosis for this to happen and Jonathan and I were fresh from our shock and devastation at the news. I think about our first meeting with Diane and I remember feeling like a brand new, bald and blind little bird who has fallen out of its nest. Vulnerable and pathetically desperate for someone to help us figure it out. I am so grateful that Diane was the one to meet with me, while in that state. She was a true blessing and I don't say that lightly. Life often puts people into your life for all the right reasons and just the right time. Diane offered us hope. She offered us a shoulder to cry on and she provided me with a plan so that I didn't feel so afraid about the boys' future. It wasn't a matter of just getting a tour of the classroom and a run-down of what they could offer. She was a warm blanket to wrap ourselves up in; it was a comfort and it gave us a sense of peace.

At the time, I didn't realize what it would mean for Diane to take on two little boys with special needs, I was entirely focused on my objectives. In retrospect, I can see that Diane and Pineridge went out on a limb, over and above what they needed to do to help us out. They hired on an extra staff to be sure that they would be able to support the boys and this was done without the assurance that the Region would provide any supplementary funding to help with the extraordinary expense. The women in the classroom were SO wonderful at trying to learn all about the boys and their needs. Their interest and their obvious affection for Owen and Will melted our hearts. The boys had a clear connection with each of the women, Holly, Susan, Joy and Diane and it made the experience so much more than what we had ever anticipated. Now that we are going into the boys' first year in a full-day school program (grade one), we are realizing how rare it is to find a school placement such as what we have experienced thus far.

We have been blessed and my boys are better people for having been so fortunate to go through Pineridge. We will never ever forget them and I am so pleased to continue to have this (web)connection to the school. If there is ever anything I can do for any parents who are going through what we did and your children are attending, please don't hesitate to contact me so that I can offer .. a bit of guidance maybe? Anything. It's all about paying it forward as Pineridge did for us.
Click on the links to take a look back at old blog entries regarding our experience with Pineridge:

Moms Days Tea Times 3

Bye Bye Nursery School

Stacey's Sunday Bandcamp #3

Refresher:

My Definition of BandCamp: reference to American Pie when the Michelle Flaherty character goes on and on and on "and this one time at band camp....". I've somehow adopted that expression over the years to refer to my rambling when I hear myself talking and I can't shut up or stop for air. I just realized how based on the American Pie reference, some might assume that BandCamp refers to something inappropriately sexual, but I assure you- it does not. So in this blog, you now know that BandCamp means 'Stacey's babbling and won't shut up'.

And we begin...

1) We had Sex in a Pan for dessert tonight. I should perhaps feel guilty that my 8 year old son says it's his favourite dessert. Today I told him that when people are around, he is to call it "Good Food in a Pan". I know. Not very original. But I need him to protect the virgin ears of grown-ups around him.

Here is my recipe (stolen from Auntie Barbie):

a) Mix: 1 cup chopped pecans

3 tbsp white sugar

1/2 cup butter

1 cup flour

- press into 9x12" greased pan

- bake at 350 for 20-25 mins or until golden and let cool

b) Beat: 1 package (8oz) cream cheese

1 cup icing sugar

1/2 tub Cool Whip

- pour over crust once it has cooled

c) Blend: 1 pkg of vanilla instant pudding

1 pkg of chocolate instant pudding

2 cups of milk

- pour over cream cheese/cool whip mixture

d) pour remaining Cool Whip on top and let set in fridge for a few hours overnight.

e) grate chocolate pieces on top of Cool Whip

2) Speaking of sex. Tonight we had the talk with Jake. It wasn't on purpose. Jonathan doesn't think it should happen until the 5th grade. I think it's because that's when he found out himself, how babies were made. I personally believe that it's because Jonathan was looking to buy two more years before he had to come up with the words to say. I wasn't ready to have it either. But Jake was. I think he knew he had it all wrong and he was too proud and too embarrassed to even talk about babies, because he knew he didn't have the right information. He's a smart kid. I wasn't in the room when Jonathan had the initial conversation. But by the time I got to Jake, he thought that the man gave his wife a drink of fertilizer that came from his (ahem) penis and it travelled to the eggs in the woman's stomach to make a baby. So I set him straight. An hour or so later, Jake was reading a book about sea turtles. He says to me, "Mom- what does M-A-T-I-N-G spell?" I said "mating". He asked "what does it mean?". All I had to do was raise my eyebrows. Jake screams "oh my gosh! Now that I've learned about this, it's EVERYWHERE!!!!"

* * * *

**Jonathan is sitting across from me as I write this and just found out I'm writing about this topic. He freaked out. Not because he thinks it's an inappropriate topic, but because he doesn't want people to know we talked to Jake about this stuff, at his young age (of 8!!!). But I've been reading up on the subject in my trusty guide 'Speaking of Sex', and it sounds like we are way behind in talking to Jake about this stuff. **

What do you guys think? I'd love to see your answers and I'll offer my opinion in a later discussion post.

3) I am currently living part-time in Guernsey and part-time in London, England. There's nothing like a good book that makes you feel almost homesick when you shut the book. That makes you google all the references to places and events that you want to learn more about. Or that makes you feel like you know and care about all of the characters in the story. I am currently reading 'The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society' and it will be a sad day for me when I finish the last page. I love a book that makes me feel like I've learned something. Because of this book, I've just added Guernsey and the Channel Islands to my list of places I wish to visit. I hope to meet Juliet, Dawsey, Elizabeth, Eli, Isola, and Kit and on and on. It may prove to be difficult since it takes place in 1946 and the story is fiction. If you feel like disappearing into another time and place and learning about a little British Island that was occupied by the Nazis during WWII.. or moreover, learning about the spirit of the people who survived the occupation with spunk and humour, pick it up. It's worth the read.

But that's not all! I've also got another book on the go. I've read all of Philippa Gregory's Tudor themed novels, but thought I would try out her Wideacre trilogy. I just thought it would be another gripping historical fiction- a different time and place maybe, but the same type of story and writing. Set in 18th century England, I didn't expect that it would be so racy! Don't leave this one on the shelf just because there are no Henry's or Boleyn's in it.

4) I had a mini scare this week. Nothing to worry about, especially because it (*thankfully*) amounted to nothing. But it got me thinking about fears that I have now that I never had when I was younger. Health concerns were an inconvenience, but never anything I really stressed over. I don't like pain - who does? But I can tolerate a lot, especially because you know you can usually get through to the other side of it. But it has never scared me. Afraid of getting in trouble or getting caught, or disappointing people maybe. I have always had a genuine fear of not being able to breathe with a bit of claustrophobia thrown in. Besides that, and spiders, mice and bats.. I think my fears were pretty weenie back then. I realize now that having kids changed all that. It's subconscious, but it's real. When the plane takes off, I find myself picturing each of my children in my mind and wishing them my love. When I have a close call on the highway that leaves me white knuckled and damp with sweat, my heart is flopping for my kids. Whenever my doctor sends me off for testing for this, that or the other, my first thought isn't "I can't bear to deal with a sickness". It's "I can't get sick. I need to be here for my kids. I need to live forever." I'm also afraid that Will is going to get up at 4am again like he did yesterday, so I should hurry up and get this written up.

5) We've seen a couple of movies this past week. I pulled out Jennifer Garner in 13 Going on 30. Cute silliness. Then last night we watched Daniel Craig in Defiance and the night before last Jonathan and I snuck out for a late show to see the cheapie-been-out-for-awhile-movies. We saw Tom Hanks and Ewan McGregor in Angels and Demons. I had read it a few years back, but couldn't remember any of the details. The movie was dull. I remember the book being a heck of a lot more interesting, with more twists and turns and puzzles. The most annoying part of the night was the fact that there was only one person working the box office. No one to take tickets. Only two at the concession stand. I stood in line for over 20 minutes just to buy our ticket. Jonathan, 25 for some popcorn. This to me, is proof that Calgary is still not hurting too badly from this recession. There are still a ton of jobs out there for front-line, service and food industries. Retail and restaurants. I think that the cheapie movie theatre still ranks with McDonald's in jobs that aren't good enough, even for the unemployed.

6) This will probably cause an eye-roll from my friends and family, because I haven't shut up about it for the past few days, but I'm kind of proud of myself. I rode a bike! I understand that this is not too interesting, but may I remind you that it has been over 15 years since I've sat on a bike. How does that happen? I think of the things I used to do without a second thought. No fear, no hesitation. When we were kids, Steph and I used to hop on our bikes and ride from the burbs into the city, around the zoo and back again and my mom was none the wiser that we had crossed city limits. Not only was I never afraid, but I wasn't even tired! Somehow since university, I have convinced myself that I would be too out of shape to try it again, so I never did. That's how I know I'm old. When you give up on things that you enjoy just because you think you can't. How stupid is that? So Jake knew that I hadn't been bike riding in forever and he tells me before our ride, "I know you'll be falling over and stuff, but it's okay. I'll go slow for you." I think I surprised him because I had to wait for him. I am so lucky to live alongside a Provincial Park, with paved trails along the river. It's impossible not to take advantage of it, when it's so easy. So I thought I was hot stuff until I went for a second ride for the day with Jonathan, who had Owen in a seat on the back. This time I wasn't keeping up with an eight-year old with a small bike with crappy gears. We went for a short 5 km ride and I came home exhausted. But exhilarated. Can't wait to go back out today.

7) Speaking of bike rides, Jonathan is training for his first triathlon. He already makes me sick with how athletic he is. He can have a 35 pound belly dragging him down, but if he decides he's going to run, off he goes for an hour. He hasn't been on his bike for a couple years and on his first ride, he went for a 40km jaunt. I wasn't too happy in the beginning of this decision, because I knew it would mean at least two hours a day of disappearing from the house. But it has worked out nicely. He takes each of the twins each trek out; he either pushes one of them in the running stroller or rides the bike with one in the seat. The kids love it. I'm proud of him, because I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to put in that kind of mileage on your body. But if Jonathan puts his mind to a sport, he can do anything. His first race is August 9th. He's terrified of the swim, but I'm sure he'll do great. Kind of reminds me of this video we posted on the blog a couple of years ago:



You can check out this story from the Sports Illustrated Vault to learn more about this remarkable and inspiring father-son duo.

8) OCD Sucks! Not very mature of me, but it's true. Jake just ran down the stairs yelling "Did you know that in the Mario Kart game..." and it caused Will to bolt from his perch at the computer in the basement and up a flight of stairs, to thrown a royal meltdown on Jake. Right before he reached to bite him, I said to Jake "quick. Say the words "I don't know". He said it to Will and Will instantly calmed down and ran back downstairs. The reason? Since April, Will has been grabbing on to phrases or words that he wants to hear repeated after their initial utterance. If you don't repeat it for him, he goes crazy. Absolute obsession. It used to be the words "are you okay?" or "to/two/too". Do you know how many times a day you say the word "to"? It's a nightmare. It gets to the point where you quit saying the words, because you know Will will catch it and hunt you down. It's not just words though. It's his love of dandelions at the moment as well. We have to pull the car over if he spots one in the grass and Jonathan takes him on runs just to fill the need to search for them. He likes to smell them, leaving a yellow glow on his upper lip. The list of OCD behaviours is sooooo long that I think it warrants a post of its own. I'll save it for another time.

9) The weather is gorgeous right now and I think I'm going to take advantage of the last few minutes before we get into our night-time routine. I'm going to turn on my current fave, Darius Rucker and sneak in a few more pages of my Guernsey Potato book. Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine!

Stampede, Whiplash & Margaritaville

We have been here for three years and this is the first where all five of us got to experience the Calgary Stampede, albeit separately. The twins got to go on a day that was sponsored by the Stampede Queens- a free day for 100 or so kids with disabilities. Owen went with his therapist and Will went with his Uncle Greg as his aide. Jonathan and I took Jake with my dad for the day and as mentioned in a previous post, the grown-ups then hit Ranchman's for a night out.

We ran into this wannabe-cowboy on the Midway: my cousin, Darren, in from Toronto

Unfortunately, I have no photos of the twins' experience on their day out, but I do have a memorable video of Jake having a great time in the Buckaroo building. I nearly peed my pants laughing. What you might not be able to see is the bungee cord that Jake is strapped up to, causing him to rebound back after trying to make a basket with the beanbag. So funny.



Here is a video "snapshot" of our later night out with my Dad, after our fun at the cowboy bar.



Please make note of Jonathan's slushie, pink, girlie drink (the choice obviously was made under the influence). We aren't going to let him forget it.


None of this has anything to do with the rodeo, but perhaps next year we'll go to Stampede to watch some real cowboys and not Jimmie Buffett (Dad's Hawaiian print shirt) and his slushie-drinking sidekick. But then... I DID hear that there will be a new Margaritaville Restaurant built for Stampede's expansion in the next couple of years. The idea of a patio on the Grounds, with a margarita in hand suits me just fine. I'll just watch the cowboys walking by...

Post note:

My cousin, Jennie forwarded me this clip in honour of this blog post. It really is a happy song. Goes well with the hot and humid day we've got going on right now. I think I might have to go searching for my blender to mix me a margarita..

Ode to Paddy (Paddington) 1997-2009

AN ODE TO PADDY

Paddington passed away last week and has left a hole in the hearts of Carol, Brian and Greg.

Paddy was my in-law's baby boy and lived out his last year happily, with a playmate and a foster family who loved him dearly, back in Ontario. He will be missed by us all.

the orange ball you squeaked

while all our hearts you tweaked

a trusty walking companion to Brian
your body and heart, the size of a lion

Carol will miss you beside her bed
oh! your red-golden hair you shed

your lolling tongue you slurped
while Squire, beside you, burped

Jake- sorry he had to move away
a friend to you, he wanted to stay

Poodie, will be mourned by Greg
a brother, on four legs

bit by a weasel, you yelped
many lonely souls you helped

a loyal friend were you
forever missed, so true
xoxo

Two for Twos-Day

Today I'm participating in 'Two for Twos-Day' when we post a photo of a favourite twosome. It is currently being hosted by Debi at Who Says 8 Is Enough?

I love this shot of one of my favourite twosomes. It's Will's legs you're seeing, in case you didn't recognize him.

I'm Totally Awe-Summm

I didn't really win this award. I kind of stole it. But I was given permission-honest. I'm supposed to share 7 (seven) awe-summm things about myself/my life and then forward this award to seven others.

1. I've been known by more names than just Stacey or Willowjakmom. I will now add Awe-Summm to the list.

• Foolah - a variation of my last name. Now just draw little dots in the middle of each 'o' and maybe you'll get the picture of what I was known for. Something that was medically reduced in my 18th year (thank GAWD!).
• Nerma - a 9th grade teacher had the name written on her classroom seating plan. When calling attendance, she stood over my desk and yelled it at the top of her voice, furious that I didn't respond. It stuck. Yuck.
• Daychee - there is a scene in Revenge of the Nerds where the Asian guy is riding a tricycle, singing "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true..." but with his accent, he sings "Daychee, Daychee...". Jonathan decided it was Japanese for Stacey and unfortunately, everyone I met in university believed it was my name also. Just call me Daych for short.

2. When I was a pre-teen, I had a bunch of odd jobs through the management of a neighbourhood mall in Scarborough (Morningside Mall - I'm proud to admit). I worked the odd kiosk, was Santa's Little Helper for a few years, ran mini golf for Father's Days and was even the Easter Bunny. One time when I was Mr. Bunny, I decided that I couldn't spend another day sitting in the stuffy hot costume to pose for photos. So I thought it would be practical to not bother wearing a layer of extra clothing underneath. A young boy sat on my lap for his photo and leaned in to look in my eye-holes of my Easter Bunny head. He turned to the crowd in the line-up and yelled "This Easter Bunny is wearing a bra in there!!!". How awe-summm is that?

3. My husband and I have been friends since the 7th grade. If you could call it friends. We fought like cats and dogs in the early days. Our teacher sat our desks together as our punishment for something, because he knew we couldn't stand each other.

I'm in the middle in the royal blue with the dark brown long hair, Jonathan is the tall geek in the grey tux and the bowtie

We were in a French Immersion program that had us in the same class every year until the end of high school. We started dating in the 11th grade, when he asked me to dance to Chicago at French Camp. *sigh* I thought he was pretty awe-summm back then.

4. When I was fifteen, I read a story in the newspaper about a 7 year old girl who had never lived outside of a hospital. Her parents had spent her whole life fighting to get her the necessary care for her to live at home. I had an overwhelming urge to do something. The little something started as a car wash, grew into a school-wide week-long fundraising initiative, then snowballed into a community effort at local malls and other schools. Ultimately, a wealthy businessman read a story I did with a newspaper and made a donation that was so substantial that Michelle was able to move home. Besides what I do everyday for my own family, it may prove to be my proudest achievement in life.

5. This isn't awe-summm, according to my husband-- but I can't live without Coronation St. I pvr every episode and even if I fall weeks behind, I don't miss an episode. Liam is my current favourite character. Blanche is another. Mostly because she reminds me of my grandmother.

6. I have a really strong sense of history, I think it's pretty awe-summm, actually. I can't go into a new town without thinking about its original inhabitants, I can't walk along a river without imagining what it looked like thousands of years ago and I have to stop and read every plaque on every monument that I see. My favourite novels are historical fiction and I am deeply interested in my own ancestry. Someday I hope to find the time to do some proper research to learn more about all the lines of my family. I do know that my maternal grandmother's line is recorded as far back as the 1700's and we come from a United Empire Loyalist- a true Canadian founder! My maternal grandfather also comes from an interesting background- from the First Nation Mohawks that settled with the Loyalists in the 1780's to create Deseronto, ON. My paternal grandfather is someone I respected and admired so much. He was a WWII Vet and also came from a fascinating history- his roots trace back to a famous Scottish poet named James Hogg and someday I would love to delve deeper into that research.

James Hogg (1770 - 21 November 1835)

7. I can't think of a seventh thing that makes me awe-summm. But I thought of five who I think are my proudest achievements:

Visit this new blogger who awarded me (read: let me steal) this honour. You'll see that she's pretty AWE-SUMMM, too! http://boomerbabybliss-bfs.blogspot.com/

Now I would like to bestow this honour on seven pretty awe-summm bloggers that I need to fill up on like I do coffee. Take a minute to check them out!

The Chronicles of Char
Beautiful Days
Daily Doses of Mama Drama
Who Says 8 Is Enough?
Red Red Whine
Kristina's Favorites
Whitterer on Autism

Stepping Off the Cliff - Sunday Citar

Welcome to Sunday Citar! This blog quote meme was created by Tabitha @ FreshMommy. You can stop by her blog to see the quotes and photos that she and everyone else is loving right now.

"If you have reached the end of all the light that you know, and you are about to step into the darkness unknown, Faith can do one of two things...Either you will step onto solid ground or you will be taught to fly." (Unknown)

Belated Friday Fragments

Created by Mrs 4444, Friday Fragments are bits and pieces of your week that are usually brief; too short for a stand-alone post, but too good to discard. Collect humorous observations, "Heard" items, and other small gems and put them together in a Friday Fragments post.

- this is where I clear my head and I'm lucky enough to get here often. The Rocky Mountains, in particular, Bow Lake off the Icefields Parkway is one of the most beautiful places on Earth. Breathe deep and take it all in. Just watch out for grizzlies.

- Dad told me today that my sons are the luckiest boys in the world to have Jonathan and I as parents. "If anyone was meant for this challenge in life, it was you guys. Think of the joy they bring you." Is it joyful when your six year old runs into your room buck naked, does a somersault and lets loose some toxic fumes and obnoxious noises when his butt's in the air in front of you?

- What do you say to an 8 year old who has been bullied on the playground? What advice do you give for his response to the kids who called him a really mean name? Because his reaction was to argue with logic why he isn't what they say he is, which only fueled the fire to even cause his best buddy to join in. The best we could come up with is to teach him a bunch of bad words to say back. Now what is Mom to do when all she wants to do is build a cocoon around her son, smother him in hugs and kisses, then go out and hunt those little sh*ts down....?

- We've got a wooden birdhouse that hangs from our back deck. We're in our third summer season with it and have at least 3 bird families that nest and have babies in it every summer. I got to wondering.. should we be cleaning it in the fall? Because there must be a lot of poop in there.

- Last night Jonathan, my dad and I hung out at a place called Ranchman's for the Calgary Stampede. We got there around 4 in the afternoon and the place was already overflowing with people. Captain Morgan made an appearance and handed out rum shooters.

(in Dad's defense-he wasn't drunk *yet* in this pic. he just blinked when the flash went off)

It was my only drink of the night because I was driving, but I have been thinking about it ever since. I am not a big drinker. To call me a social drinker would even be generous, but I am now obsessing about the flavour of that shooter, that I don't have a name for. It went down as smooth as butter and I had assumed there was a new buttered rum flavour on the market. I just came back from the liquor store and alas, there is no such thing. Now I am a woman obsessed. I suspect I'll be making recipes all summer, trying to recapture the memory of that taste. Hopefully I won't be in need of an intervention by September...

- Taylor Swift has been one of Jake's favourite artists since we first saw her open for Brad Paisley a year and a half ago at the Saddledome. She came back out for the Stampede and Jake and I went to see her perform on Wednesday night with Kellie Pickler and a new country band on the scene, Gloriana, opening for her. I expected for it be fun because I knew how much Jacob would enjoy it. I did not expect to be as entertained as I was. It was worth every penny. Who would've thought?

- I have decided that one of my favourite things about living out here is that I wake up to birds singing every morning and a full sun by 5am that doesn't sleep again until after 10:30 at night. The days are full and long and the air is fresh. I live in a beautiful neighbourhood with no threat of development changing any of it at all in the future and I've got the best neighbours we could have asked for.

- This week I am looking forward to seeing Lisa. It's supposed to be a playdate for Jake and Ella & Owen, but really it's an excuse for me to have some grown-up chat with my bestie. How sad is that? My whole life I could do without having a best girlfriend to talk to everyday. I have always had good friends, but could go weeks in between talking or seeing them. Lisa is someone I need to talk to on a daily basis or something's missing. She's my life-saver on a daily basis and really the one person who keeps me sane. Since school let out a couple of weeks ago, I haven't had opportunities to see her and then she and I have had too much going on at home to even fit in our regular chats. So here's to Jake and Ella's playdate! ;)

- Guess who was in town the last few weeks? We have had a full house since mid-June. My mom was out for a visit just in time to see Jake perform in his end of the year dance recital. Then she took him back with her to Toronto for two weeks. The next day my cousin Michelle, her boyfriend, Matt and best friend, Ashley came out for a 10 day visit.

We had a fun time with enough road trips to do a round trip from Toronto to Calgary; to the Badlands (Tyrell Dinosaur Museum in Drumheller), to the Columbia Icefields, to Radium and Golden, BC, through the Foothills from Longview, AB through the Spray Lakes and to Canmore and finally to every nook and cranny in Banff. We visited Banff, Yoho, Jasper and Kootenay National Parks and saw so much wildlife that it made all the driving worth it.

My dad flew Jake back out with him this past Wednesday and we have been enjoying his stay ever since. We also had the pleasure of having Marci in from San Diego and we got to meet her new man, Kyle.



We had a great night hosting a barbecue for them and our only regret was that her visit was too short.

So after Pop leaves tomorrow, we've got the whole summer ahead of us with no more visitors on the agenda so we can get used to being a family of 5 again (plus a Gamma). Here's to a quiet summer!!

Moving Forward

Today is the first day of my new life. I am declaring it so, so it must be true.

As of today, I am no longer a slave to the taxi driver syndrome. I am no longer a slave to the home based therapy schedule. I am no longer a daytime single parent. I now have the support of a kick- ass hubby who does more than his share of the work around the house and with the kids. Jonathan is home for the summer and we've actually got a schedule (put in italics because schedules never work out quite the way we planned), where I get a part of the day to start my new writing venture to see if I can someday bring in a bit of income. I'm catching up on my blogging and my blog-reading. The summer is going to fly by in a blur, but come September, all three of my boys will be in school full days, so I will have some time to take my writing more seriously.

So that's where I'm at, but where have I been?

Life around here has been nutty. Always is. But the past few months have been particularly tough. Before I rant and gripe, I must take a moment to reflect on a conversation I had last night with our neighbour, Al. Last night we had a barbecue at our place, in honour of Marci (one of our fave therapists who moved to San Diego a while back). Al lives across the street and he came over to join us. He shared that his girlfriend's 29 year old son is currently fighting for his life with pneumonia- a nasty trick the gods like to throw at people when they are already fighting the fight of their lives against such diseases as cancer, in this young man's case- a form of Hodgkin's Lymphoma. 29 years old with two and three year old children. I have never met this man or his young family, but I cried for his mother, Gwen and the thought of how helpless she must feel, watching her son struggle. Al and his three kids suffered their own loss five years ago, when his wife lost her own battle with cancer. We didn't know Al then, but we know him now to be an optimistic and realistic guy who always a smile on his face and an extraordinary zest for life. Al said to me, "I'm of the opinion there are only two types of people in this world. There are the ones who do nothing but bitch and complain and look to the outside of their own life; wanting kids like those ones, a house like that, more money, a better wife, greener grass.. and they blame everyone else for their not having it. Then there are the people who look at the cards they have been dealt, and understand that life is full of goo. It might not be pretty, but it's gooey and our job is to enjoy the goo and learn how to navigate through it. When you live in the moment, you can find the beauty in the goo and you won't care about what the others have or don't have. My whole perspective on life changed when we went through the experience of losing my wife."

It is pretty difficult to complain about my own life when I think about that conversation. Not in the assumed sense that my problems are nothing compared to the loss of a loved one, but in considering the lessons that Al learned, I need to just get on with it and be grateful for what I've got. I think the lessons I need to take from my experience in parenting my three challenging boys, is not to focus so much on the struggles or even the goals we set for them. But it's how we deal with it all that counts. It's about our attitude and our outlook.

That being said, I just want to summarize what has been going on the past few months while trying to keep the complaining to a minimum.

Owen: Owen is in a really good place right now. Since March he has been with a new agency for his behavioural intervention therapy program. It was a rough start, but very soon we could see the benefits of the change. After years of ABA home therapy, Owen was bored. I personally think he was no longer being challenged and was slipping through the cracks. Because he can be so complacent, quiet and easy going, he can be easily overlooked and forgotten. Living in Will's boisterous shadow is not easy and in the final months with his old agency, my focus was definitely more on Will and it was difficult to garner the focus and energy required to make Owen's program just as meaningful.

Until we found his new program.

It's all about Owen now. Parental involvement is welcomed but not demanded, so programs can move forward with or without me. They understand that we have twins with equally demanding needs, but their one and only focus is Owen so decisions are always made in his best interest. They have freedoms in operating his program that allow him to work outside of our home and everyday is something new for him. He regularly travels to their center, to the parks, to the hair dresser, etc. where he gets to generalize his skills and meet with other kids. During the summer he will average two outings a week- to the zoo, to the Calgary Stampede, a ranch, sailing on the reservoir, mini golf, bowling, swimming at the lake and the list goes on. He is a happy boy who recognizes that he is important and is eager to work for the great rewards. Let it be said that the rewards are not necessarily all the big trips, but in his own personal pride at accomplishing his new goals. It really is exciting to watch him right now. Whether it's discovering that he's got a wicked accuracy in kicking a soccer ball, or watching him discover his independence in bowling (with none of my help!).. Owen is definitely a kid who wants to learn and experience more.

Owen with his Gamma

Owen is registered to attend a private school for autism in the fall. We are really excited for him and anxious to see how he does with the transition to an all day school program. It is an ABA based program and he will work in a classroom with a 1:1 aide. A couple of weeks ago we went to a picnic and met all of his new teachers and classmates and are now really excited for him to start this new chapter in his life.

Jake: My baby has been in Toronto with his Grandma for the past two weeks. We have been separated before, but he has always been with at least one of us (Jonathan or I) in the same city. It has been a tough separation and for the first few days I seriously carried a sick feeling in my stomach and all thoughts were in Toronto with him. But I also must say that the quiet in our household has been nice. Jake finished off his school year with an amazing report card and a great attitude. What a difference a year makes being in a school where his teacher understands and respects him and his interests and skills in art are encouraged and celebrated. Jake has come through a rough few years with an earned maturity that you don't often see with eight year olds. He's still got a sassy mouth and he challenges authority and often finds that his sarcasm gets him into trouble (hmmm... does this sound like Stacey and Stephanie I wonder?), but he is truly a compassionate, considerate and funny kid who I can't wait to know as an adult. He will make a great friend or partner to someone and the world better be ready for him, because he can accomplish anything!

May and June were very hectic for our Jeek. He was signed up for a soccer league and I think he's finally found his niche in the sport. He's not a goal-scorer but his dad says that he's a great tackler. I can only say that he looks great on his feet. He has definitely inherited his dad's athletic talents and natural ability. His Irish Dancing has come such a long way. He has a true talent and wowed us all at his Dance Recital that finished off his first competitive year. I really look forward to seeing where this takes him and if he chooses to continue. He clearly has a passion for it.

Jake on his 8th birthday

Will: Oh, Willy. Will's current trials and tribulations deserve a blog all of their own. It is so difficult to sum up what is going on with him. I think it's easiest to say that I think Will is just pissed off. It is as if he has just hit his limit. I have put a lot of thought into what is behind his current state of mind and it's not unreasonable to assume that he is probably just sick and tired of being told what to do (as any child would be). But these kids have been in intensive therapy for over four years. Four years of working hundreds of times harder than the average career-adult at a level of intensity that not many of us have to endure. Working to understand what is asked of him, working to have his needs and thoughts expressed and working to constantly try and regulate his difficult outbursts and impulses. Something changed with Will this year and I am not just remarking upon his new skills and accomplishments. But I feel that I now have a child who understands his place in the world and I know that he wants to be heard and demands that we pay him the respect of explaining things to him. You cannot take for granted that just because he can't talk, he doesn't understand. Gone are the days of babyhood when you could tell his embarrassing poop stories with him in the room and know that he didn't have a clue about what you were saying. I think one of Will's problems is that not everyone is of this understanding of Will. Decisions are made without his consultation, choices are made for him and hands take his to steamroll him from place to place without explanation. Of course this is a natural treatment of children from time to time and adults make decisions for their kids all the time without their approval. But Will is beginning to understand that he has a mind of his own and he wants people to respect it.

Will (in his spider hat) with his aide, Tara on their last day of preschool together

Here is a run of the mill example. Will came to hate going to school at the end of the year, as most kids do with the warming temperatures, the allure of his precious dandelions in every patch of grass on the drive to school and the memory of his weekend of freedom and waterslides from the days before. Tantrums would ensue in the hallway to the classroom, with kicking, screaming and all efforts to head back out to the car. A year ago, I would have gone through our ABA bag of tricks and used such things as If...Then, Reward Systems, or simply ignoring the tantrum, making my demand (of him getting up off the floor and going through the door) and handling him through the process of moving forward. Now, I'm not willing to do that. I still see the benefits of some of these strategies but I believe that Will deserves to have a conversation around it, just as Jake would. We both know that in the end, Will is going to school. But I know that if I kneel down to his level and help him to express his feelings (you are feeling mad, or sad), showing him a schedule that shows that after school he will be able to do all the things he is looking forward to, or simply talking through it (it's time to go to school. It's going to be a fun day, you're going to do some crafts, you'll get to play outside, etc.), he might still tantrum, but I believe that he deserves this kind of conversation and he deserves to be respected as a little person who has a voice. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that the rest of the world has this new appreciation for Will's role in the situation and I think it has contributed to his frustration. While it may not be the sole reason for his current heightened level of stress, I know that it is now shaping my new way of approaching my son.

Will's next school year will also bring him to the same private school that Owen will be attending. I see his placement here more as a stepping stone or 'transitionary year' as we try to build and develop all the skills that he gained in his preschool years, so that he will be prepared for more of an inclusive setting in his next school year. I will probably discuss this further in another post. We decided to give Will the summer off from therapy to let him have a break. We have our own family goals and initiatives that focus a lot on community and play and to really tackle some of Will's underlying medical and psychological challenges that we believe also contribute to some of his distress. There are big things in Will's future and this summer will be our time to lead him in that direction.

As for Jonathan and I, we will continue to keep on keeping on. I am excited about our future, while always worried at the same time. But as life continues to throw us curveballs, it also throws us little miracles along the way that remind me that someone has always been on our side to help us make the best decisions for our kids and I believe that this good fortune will continue. Always keeping the faith..